1. Copy out your best or favorite journal response from the month of May.
2. Peer evaluate 2 other responses (comment on: use of vocabulary, paragraphs/organization, punctuation and use of evidence.)
3. comment on 3 peer evaluations towards other students that your found to be most productive and helpful and describe why you thought so.
at the end you will have minimum 6 posts
My favourite journal response: HMS TITANIC.
ReplyDeleteOnce I see the name, I know it isn't long before this steaming hull will be sunk to an innocent iceberg floating around. I jumped back as the massive ship started to turn, and was closing in on Greenland.I had to warn the captain about the icebergs floating around here.I smacked open the door of the captains quarters, and started to explain the very near future of this ocean liner. The captain started to laugh, hollering and practically crying, "this mighty ship can't be sunk to a little iceberg son".
BOOM!!! In an instant I knew what happened below our feet, I was standing shocked and pale, my life flashed before my eyes.
Your topic choice is really good because it is based onareality and your response was pretty interesting
DeleteYour vocabulary is great! I just wish you made your response longer, it's a good start to a story and I would like to read the rest. It ends as fast as it starts.
Delete
DeleteContinuing: IDIOT I said under my breath, " GET EVERYONE ON THE LIFEBOATS NOW". I ran out onto the deck, only to see a humongous Iceberg jabbing in the front of the hull, I heard people screaming and running and were taking drastic measures by jumping off the sides of the ship. the captain ran out of his quarters, his face beaded with sweat," Captain goes down with his ship" he said dramatically, he started to guide the passengers to safety. I regretted calling this kind captain an idiot, but only for a second. As I was running down the deck, I jumped into a lifeboat, and a worker lowered me into the ocean with a bunch of people inside the life boat to the cold icy sea. Than all of a sudden, the front of the titanic broke off and sunk to the bottom of the ocean carrying thousands of people BAM!! Now everyone was screaming on the ship and lifeboats because the peice of the titanic made huge waves that were overthrowing a bunch of lifeboats.
My heart shuddered as without warning the ocean pulled me under the surface, and I was gone just like that. The last thing I heard was people screaming like crazy as the last part of the titanic landed on top of me , BAMM!!.
DeleteSorry Sarah, the rest of the response didn't publish.
Its a really good start of the story, you also used differennt kind of punctuation and vocabularry is pretty good too.
DeleteThanks
DeleteI liked your response and the way you put it together. Especially describing the havoc happening around you. I would have liked it if you led up more to when you saw the iceberg.
DeleteYour story is great and good high end words
DeleteYeah I just read your response Talha, and I do agree that I should have also put more detail for the iceberg.
Delete@Talha You delivered spot on what this story needed, more emphasis on the iceberg. The iceberg is more of like what caused all of this. If nauman used the senses ability for that perspective that he showed. I found your response to nauman to be the most informative due to the less over-exaggeration that its amazing, and more of a right to the chase approach.
DeleteI definitely feel obligated to do something about the countries that cannot afford much. But so many people would rather give money for war than for charity. That's just how it is these days. Because of war many countries are wrecked and poor. Others just didn't have the right sustainable leader to handle and support the country. We keep providing money for those but does that really change anything? Because we'll have to keep providing till someone in that country will step up and take control of the country getting it's act together.
ReplyDeleteI have no problem donating to those that are in need but what I really interrogate is that will it really get the country functioning in an convenient way that it needs to be? I think not. I think that is the main issue here. What they need is a dominant leader.
That is the reason why some countries are able to have lavishing lifestyles. Because we have the right proper leader to guide us, we have a system that allows us to control certain amenities we need. But unfortunately those other countries aren't able to develop that type of system.
Truthfully though, there's not much to do about this situation. It all falls into the hands of that country and together we can help lift it's power. That is, if we want them too...I wouldn't mind, but would our presidents be willing to handle that? It really all falls down to that. The gap between the poor and continues to increase because of this.
I agree because the money we give to charity half of it goes to the producers and the just use poor people to make Money.
DeleteNot even half, most of it
Delete@aynur your reasoning is great and supports your argument perfectly
DeleteThere are charities that help donate to military families, as well as the government.
DeleteYes there is also even that reason, not even half of it goes to where it actually should be. I don't even think they're true intention is even to donate money, they just want to make it seem like it is. Even though it sounds cruel, that's just the way some people are now.
DeleteYes, most of the funds given to charity is used to keep the charity profitable and up to run. Suppose you donated $60 to the Haiti relief fund a few years ago, they will most likely give about $15 to the actual cause that is to be funded towards. There are specific reasoning's to the profit for the company. Sure we might not be fine with it but, we...in the real world are not capable to the extent of changing peoples minds/choices.
DeleteWar does make other punishable countries in a rippling economic state. Like if you relate to Syria for example, many people are forced in a poor state due to war time and protesting. And when your country is in that state, there isn't much power that you have at that point. So in my mind i wouldn't entirely blame it on the charity workers faults. It's more of how our life cycles around.
I Really, REALLY,REALLY REALLY wanted to write the Titanic journal topic, but alas, it was too long. So I wrote this one instead:
ReplyDeleteMy champion is my brother, because he teaches me whenever I am in need of teaching, he makes me laugh when I'm sad, he keeps me company when I'm eating alone, he is all I have and I hope he will always be there.
I'm lucky to have a brother like him. Even when I was young he would be patient and generous whenever we would play with his Lego. When I think about it, he was always there building me into a better person, my parents were always busy so he was like my best friend.
I agree with the argument because without my champion, I would be a very different person and my self esteem would be critically low.
Every kid growing up needs a champion. Because every kid needs someone to guide them into the right direction.
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DeleteMy Titanic was THE best journal topic I ever wrote!!! I love it to pieces, that why I wrote 12 pages, I'm still writing it.
DeleteDamn, what is it about?
Delete....doctor who x3
DeleteWell do you guys fight with each other because almost all siblings fight
Deletelol wow
DeleteThat was suppose to be a smiley...
DeleteWell, we do fight, but it never lasts long. We usually fight about music and TV shows.
DeleteThat's a really good response. And I agree with you that everyone needs a champion to guide them.
DeleteYour response was good, and pretty persuading, but don't you think your paragraphs should have been longer?
Deletethe response was fine but you should use a bit more punctuation and you said every child needs a champion to look up to but i know a lot of people that are a bad role model but everybody wants to be like him so do you think you still need a leader if they are bad
Delete@ A.M.17 You should too. The response you gave to Lauren lacked punctuation such as commas, periods, and capitalization.
DeleteYou could add some more expression to your paragraphs like when you are expressing that your brother is your champion you can add a semi-colon to show what examples you gave for your brother being a role model.
Deletei am answering the HMS Titanic.
ReplyDeleteIf i was on boat i would be scared because i know it crashes and almost everyone died. I would take a life boat and try to sail home. If i did each home, i will see if there is a boat i will try to get help.
I will star by trying to find a pot so i could boil the salt water to make it fresh so i could drink it.
If there is any food in lifeboat i will eat that food and there is normaly a book for how to survive and i will read and try to survive.
If there is any animal in the life boat i will try to save that animal and me. If the food run out so i could star fishing. If i get home i will tell my family what thinks happen to me in the boat.
Remember to keep in mind that people were jammed into every life boat, not to mention how cold it was. How would you boil the water? You can't start a fire in a wooden life boat.
DeleteIf i was on boat i would be scared because i know it crashes and almost everyone died. I would take a life boat and try to sail home. If i did reach home, i would see if there is a boat if there was i would try to get help.
DeleteI will start by trying to find a pot so i could boil the salt water to make it fresh so i could drink it.
If there is any food on the lifeboat i would eat that food and there is normaly a book for how to survive and i will read it and try to survive.
If there is any animal on the life boat i will try to save that animal and me. If the food ran out i would star fishing. If i get home i will tell my family what they think happend to me on the boat the boat.
Wait a second, how are you going to boil the water
DeleteWhat animal would you WANT to save?
Delete@Lauren The lifeboats are actually made of fibreglass and aluminium. I thought you of all people would know that.
Pablo is it just me or you replied the exact same thing sumeet wrote anyways nice topic because it is based on a reality.
DeleteNow Pablo, the only thing you're missing is making the i a capital I
DeleteThis reminds me of Life of Pi with the whole animal thing. I don't remember any animals being in the Titanic.
Delete@john, It was 1912... They didn't have fiberglass. "wooden lifeboats, measuring 30 feet (9.1 m) long by 9 feet 1 inch (2.77 m) wide by 4 feet (1.2 m) deep" -Wikipedia. It also depends on the type of boat, if its a sailing boat or small yhat, the lifeboats would be inflatable. If it where a cruise ship then yes, lifeboats were made of aluminium, titanium,ect.
DeleteIt's kind of good but the water is so cold that you can't even touch it then how are you going to drink it. and i didn't get how are you doing to boil the water? O.o
DeleteAnd it's actually RMS Titanic
DeletePablo is this a copy paste error or is that your response
DeleteSummeet capitalize those I's and it depends if you are first class or the poor ones in the basement if you were rich you might survive but you were the poor one then you will die
DeleteIf you read closely you will see what I corrected >:l
DeleteMy favourite day of the week is friday after school because i get to walk home and enjoy it also cause its the weekend so i get to relax and play video games other reasons are because i dont have to get up early for school i can just sleep in till 11:00 AM.
ReplyDeleteOn friday after school i go home and watch tv for a little than i eat dinner than i go into my room and not come out till its sunday unless my mom is really annoying that day and say 'pablo go outside your always on that ps3' *annoying mom voice*.
i like friday after school the most because to me when when school ends on friday i feel relieved like i love knowing theres no school tommorow also i know were getting take out the next day, so im always looking forward to the weekend
I agree with your response, but if you take a look, your response is exactly 3 sentences long. There are no pauses to catch a breath, and when you say I, they need to be capitalized. Also look out for apostrophes, you wrote im, it should be I'm. Keep that in mind.
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Deleteokay thanks.
DeleteWell if it is written with proper vocab and punctuation it ca still work.
DeleteFirst of all, you really need to experiment in using commas. There is only one comma that I counted in your response.
Deletei agree with Eden you need commas but where will you put them Eden?
DeletePablo where's your high end words?
DeleteI like your response and how you write them in paragraphs.. But you also need to have high end vocabulary even it's only one word in each paragraph.. You also need to put different punctuations. And have periods after each sentence.
Delete@Sarah I liked how you were straight to the point and wasn't just focusing on the response itself. The response itself may tell a glimpse of information but that isn't enough to actually tell a story worth telling. This makes me question myself if this is really his best journal response. No capitalization, paragraphs to pull it together.
DeleteI have a lot of different songs with equally amazing lyrics, but my favourite will have to be "This is just the part I portray". This line is from Masterpiece Theatre 1, 2, and 3, by no other than Marianas Trench, and the lyrics were written by Josh Ramsay.
ReplyDeleteWhat does the line mean? Well portray means to represent dramatically. It's almost as if saying " this is who I am, take it or leave it." That's what I get anyway. The line is like an explanation in itself, that the person is that part in life, and he can't change it. The way it's sung in the song makes it sound like he's sorry and he can't help you.
It's either a very complicated line or a very simple line to understand. And it could mean different things to different people. But it is one of the most meaningful lines from all Marianas Trench songs.
You speak with so much passion And knowledge!
DeleteDo they sing this line is every song of "Master Theatre"?
DeleteI didn't hear this song but I have a feeling it will be the songs I like
Delete@Sana the album is titled 'Masterpiece Theatre' the first song on it is Masterpiece Theatre l, the 6th track is masterpiece theatre ll, and the final track is masterpiece theatre lll. And in each song they say that line.
DeleteWell, I think I would see the titanic, and think I came back in time. My hands were shivering while had this spine tingling feeling in me. I would start to scream " STOP THE BOAT" and the saw me but Instead of stoping the boat the threw a rope while the boat was sailing. I had a quick thought, I can twist history around and save lives. So I kind of felt the men in black situation but I was wearing an orange shirt. After I went on the boat I told the captain to stop there was an iceberg coming. The captain and his crew started laughing they said the need evidence to show their boss, they can't say we heard this from a 14 year old who claims he came from 2013. When he saw my stern face he got discomfort able ...........But it got too late a loud "BOOM" and the ground floor tore apart. The captain wouldn't come when I was telling him to come because he said a captain goes down with his ship. I gave him a salute and went to save lives of other.
ReplyDeleteLater on I bumped into Jack and for some reason he knew who I was like we were old friends but he ran and said I have to get rose. I knew exactly were she was then I went to help. I gave them supplies and told them to go in the boat fast. Before leaving the passengers asked me where I was from I said "2013" the we're shocked. At this point It was my responsibility to change history.
I Was looking forward to jump in the water with jack and rose so I can be mentioned in the movie but for some reason the were not going to jump. The felt safe in each other's arms.
My heart was pounding hard like I was getting punched rapidly. I called for safety with a old style big black cell phone in my pocket more like a home phone. Helicopters, ambulance, and floating police cars came for the rescue. I finally had the taste of victory on my mouth. So I went for the dive. And fell on my bedroom floor. I found out it was all just a dream. A feeling came to my head and I checked if I saved the titanic but nothing changed my broken hope taught me a lesson that I can't change history.
You need to capitalize on every noun (person,place, or thing) Also there are some grammatical errors, read and revise before you publish.
DeleteIf I couldn’t use my device for a month, I would be dying, crying and I would feel like a hopeless turtle! I always want to know what is happening around me and with my friends. What’s in, what are out, sports to everything; I love it all! I usually get all my weather updates, sports updates, news updates and entertainment updates from my iPod.
ReplyDeleteFor example: every night I go on my NBA Gametime app and get all the latest scores, plays, stats, trades etc! I do not use my TV for anything except my favourite reality shows. Also, another example would be that before I go to school I check my CP24 app for the weather and news. Many people use their TV. Plus, it’s a by-product because its already seized by someone else.
Yes, there are many advantages not using my device. I would automatically have more time to be more organized like my messy room! My mom thinks I’m becoming more arrogant because my eyesight has become worse. All my time is drowning and sinking into my iPod!
Finally, I would be more social to people. For example: one time my friend came over to my house and he came from a far distance. I was so into my iPod that he became so bored he fell asleep. I didn’t realize until I heard snoring! I also didn’t realize I was so addicted. He was trying to get my attention!
Therefore, there are many positive advantages and negative effects on using my device.
If you experienced it isn't that hard for example lost my iPod and my laptop was in for repair and I had nothing but it was all fine
DeleteI know how you feel, because, before I got my iPod, I didn't know much of what was going on in the sports world other than my favourite teams failing or winning. For example when lakers were at the finals with Boston celtics in 2010 I found out about it 2 days before the series started. So yeah it's horrible without your iPod.
DeleteIt honestly isn't that hard to go without a device for a while. I mean, I never had and IPod before grade 7 and I did just fine.
DeleteAnyway, social stuff is a good reason to have a device so props on that.
I agree Abeeshan, mostly with the sports updates. Like I use my iPod to check what's happening in the NHL. I could use a computer but a iPod is more convenient. Like if my game is loading I can pull out my iPod and read some news and check scores or whatever. But I also agree it's a distraction, especially with other people around.
Delete@john
DeleteIt wasn't hard for you in grade seven because you never had an iPod but if you already had one for long, then you couldn't use it, you would feel different.
"How do you feel about your appearence? Why do you feel this way? Does it impact how you act? IS it justified?"
ReplyDeleteThe way i feel about my appearence is ok; not so good because they way people see me from outside it's actually comparable to the same i am from inside. Some people think that if a person act good with them they are not really nice from inside, but sometimes that's not the right thing. Felling about my appearence is actually good weather people like me or not it doesn't really corporeality to me because if they don't like their appearence they probably wont even like yours.
I feel it this way because i don't realy care by how people think or judge ,e by my appearence. I like myself/ appearence because I like my body, even though it's not in a perfect shape which I don't like personally; but I think I am okay, not ugly not evn preety. Sometimes I feel down, when I see other pretty girls than me. I guess I act pretty companion for the most part, even though sometimes I am not. Some days; I'll feel really great and others, not so much.
MOst of us at some times in our life feel some concern about our personal appearence. For some people this concern just affects them occasionally, maybe when other things in their life have gone wrong and their confidence is low. For others it is a more permanent worry and they spend much time pre-occupied by the thought that they are physically unattractive. Sometimes this is linked to a particular physical feature or to the visible traces of some ailment or accident. For me the worry is more general. These worries are source of great distress, also it's linked to the depression, social isolation or intense self-consicious.
Often perople feel particularly isolated since friends and family seek to reassure them without understanding the depth of unhappiness which they are feeling.
I like the way you used capitals In front of every paragraph
DeleteI feel that my appearance is fine however, I do not know how other people think of me. I believe this because of my attitude to others; if I am ignorant to others than people will treat me the same. Not only that if I am paranoid of people finding me as having an "ugly" appearance, then others will also think it ! The most simple knowledge is always the truth.
ReplyDeleteI presume that the appearance attribute has an enormous impact on how a person acts. For instance, if you are big and tall then you will act like it your personality would be "The Ruler" and that is how you will act bossing around all your minions. On the other hand if you are that kid with early acne you will be in a corner weeping and run away from whatever life gives you.
An example of big and tall are the famous two tall gang from Bearstain Bears they rule all the other Gr. 6's because of their extraordinary height! I also think how your appearance is affected by your personality and it can also be vice-versa. If the music you like (the music you like is usually your personality) is punk there is a high chance of you having green streaked hair and lip ring.
In conclusion, people need to place themselves in a category of people and they need to know where they stand and they must be proud of it.
It's good you used straight up words like ugly it defines your confidence.
Delete@aquib: I like how you used example from the media and the television.
DeleteNice use of vocabulary.. I like the way how you write your response.. It's actually good how you use the example of Bearstain bears..
DeleteThe journal entry that I would call my favorite is the one about not having our devices.
ReplyDeleteI would probably just go about my normal life minus my Ipod, laptop and other stuff. Instead I would go and make stuff out of LEGO and read some books.
I would also go outside and look for people to play soccer and other sports with. Something fun that I would definitely enjoy doing is to pop a hydrant and start a block party.
describe the way you feel about this if it ever happened?
DeleteI would haz huge happy if I actually got to pop a hydrant because one: I love BBQ at block parties, and two: I have never vandalized government property and I would like to rub it in the Govie's faces that we want to use their water for good fun, to cool down, and overall pleasure.
DeleteI like how it shows the thing and ideas but could you add more detail and more hight end words?P.S like the word hydrant made me search it up on Google.
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DeleteThe journal entry that I would call my favorite is the one about not having our devices.
DeleteI would probably just go about my normal life minus my Ipod, laptop and other stuff. Instead I would go and make stuff out of LEGO and read some books.
I would also go outside and look for people to play soccer with and other sports. Something fun that I would definitely enjoy doing is to pop a hydrant and start a block party.
That's pretty funny to have a fake iPod to keep company
Delete@Pablo is that a mistake..
DeleteHow would i apply my feeling to my appearance.I could care less.I don't go all enrage and out going in my clothes.I don't envy other people clothes or care at all.I just wake up get a soccer shirt or whatever and pants then go outside.Simple no drama no fuss.
ReplyDeleteYou can rarely see me actually carrying of what i wear.Maybe some time for fancy party or a special occasion but other than that i would wear anything i what for the whole week.
I really don't feel anything about my appearance cause how give them the right to judge my clothes. I've learned a little thing about this world but what i do know is that there ALWAYS a person how has the opposite opinion about what you think.
I feel this way because ,appearance is a waste of time there higher and more valuable thing in this world like the earth,peace,religion etc.There other that might argue the opposite but that there oppinion
Remember to Capitalize your I 's
DeleteI agree, we don't need to make a huge fuss over how our clothes look or how we look.
DeleteAlthough, you need to have more than one type of punctuation and also have a space after a period before you write something.
I see your point but at some parts, your vocabulary is poor like your slang language and spelling mistakes are noticed often and your sentence structure should be a little tweaked but otherwise, your point was clear.
DeleteYour words are pretty much slang no one writes cause they say it.
Deletei like the topic you chose also the way youanswered it i like it but you need more puncuation you only had one out of the whole thing.
DeleteYou did slack a bit on vocabulary as most already said. You needed evidence/proof something to really support your answer you could care less on appearance but what do others think about that? You needed to extend your answer and take it beyond. Most readers want to see something they really want to read, something thats attractive and be like "oh i never really thought of that". When we walked into Mr.Cheneys class did you think your views would change? I think not,but why do we listen to Mr.Cheney so much because he bring reality to an issue, he says what really happens rather then what we think happens.. and that one great thing about him , and your journal topic just needed that boost! Many of us say we dont care about looks, but using the word "dont care" is that really true? Dont you brush your hair in the morning? or take a shower? scrub your face? why do you do all that? mostly to look good.
Delete@Neha I like the way you expressed your opinion on the subject that was given. And how you gave the example of a island to reality. Reality is harsh but yet, we deny the existence of what may seem wrong with us due to the fact that we want our appearance to be. Really, even saying I don't care about my appearance makes you care about it even more. Your social appearance is made upon everything you do that is social.
DeleteIf you could not use your mobile phone or device for a month what would it be like? Would there be any advantages?
ReplyDeleteIf I didn't have access to my phone or device for a whole month it wouldn't really make a huge difference because normally I hardly use my device or phone.I only use my phone when I am going out somewhere alone and I need it to call my parents.My device on the other hand I do use for social networking and entertainment,but it won't kill me if I let it go for a month.It also won't make much of a big difference to me if I didn't have access to my iPod because I had it taken away for two months a while ago and for those two months I didn't even miss it that much.
There would be a lot of advantages,such as in that month I will focus less on my device and focus more on my study's and schoolwork like I did before I got my iPod and phone.
I would have more time to spend with my family rather then being on Facebook and twitter all day.
what would happen if you need you're phone in a emergency or in a bad situation?
DeleteI agree because a year ago I lost my iPod and the laptop was for repair. I had nothing but still lived. @ Derrick we can also use payphones.
DeleteNavdeep: being in such bad situation no body has time to run look for a payphone, insert money and then call...These days payphones dont exist everywhere.
DeletePreet:Your journal response was okay, in my opinion i think maybe if you extended your response a bit more and went into more depth it would have been better. Paragraph wise , i think you weren't as organized, you flip-flopped here and there instead of having a well build structure.You could have tried to use a bit more punctuation but that was only if you had extended your journal topic. A few ideas could be speaking of how many students cant live with their phones and your opinion on it, maybe try to have a comparison. I hope you don't mind my criticism its just the way i think...
Question: Can a person even work too hard at something? Do you?
ReplyDeleteAnswer: I think a person can work if they put time to it and is dedicated to what to their work also i think if you put your mind to what you are doing a person can work hard at something if they really want it done or if the person is enthusiastic to see how their work looks at the end when they are finish.
For example a painting you accustomed to stop the painting because they want they would want to see how it will look at the end and they would want to accomplishment it.
I work hard at everything because I want to see how my work looks like when I achieve it and also I want to finish it and hand it in on time if it was a project. For example a drawing I won’t stop until I am satisfied with my drawing and I will keep on going until I like what I see at the end of the day when I am finish my painting ,so I do think a person can even work too hard at something to achieve what he/she is struggling for.
I guess you could've wrote more, but that's my opinion I guess. I didn't totally understand what you said , I mean all I've understood is that you need to work if you want something, and I agree with that. There are some grammatical errors, very few to actually see, but I did spot them. Now I don't know if its just me but it seems like you've written everything in a rush.
DeleteWell, free speech is pretty important, it just doesn't get acknowledged. Before I never really had that much interest in this. I think what influenced my opinion and what really got me thinking, was when my own freedom of speech got taken away.
ReplyDeleteI was pretty distraught and astounded at the speech competition when I didn't win, and everyone else was too. When you do controversial topic such as the on I did, the media try's to shut you off. The make it seem like nothing ever happened.
Suddenly when you don't say what they want you to hear, your opinion or input is invalid. People always say that everyone should have their own freedom speech, and when you don't say what they want you to hear, your opinion or input is invalid.
The important thins always go unnoticed. I think that freedom of speech does get abused. I mean, usually people will just use it as an excuse to run their mouths off and say inappropriate things.
DeleteI agree with your response, you defiantly should have won, everyone knows that, I just think in your final paragraph you shouldn't have repeated ' you opinion or input is invalid ' because you already said that once in the paragraph
DeleteI agree. Sometimes though, people do swear and stuff for a good reason. Like if you were really made about something you would probably swear too. I know I would.
DeleteI sooo agree with you and what you are saying about free speech and it is true the stuff that are supposed to be important and unnoticed and very good vocabulary
DeleteWonderful choice of words! It's a difficult topic to write about and grasp the consept, most kids struggle, but you did an exceptional job!!
DeleteYour opinion on free of speech, we all see eye to eye on it. You did most definitely did deserve to win! But society thinks the manner they want to think, and despondently we can’t revolutionize that fact. The comment you made on media shutting you off when you think differently is most yet the truth of anything and taps into a whole lot. Your few sentences were well written but in my opinion you need more evidence, you needed to support your answer especially from the real world. Not everyone has the same judgement as you did or as we all did, we've had personal experience and so that’s why we think a certain way, but take me as someone else. I haven’t been trough and issue like this and I have not one clue about anything, I would most definitely want more articles or more stories because it persuades me that your opinion is not just a lie. You may be wary of elaborating too much because you think the point is obvious but not everyone can read minds. ALWAYs ALWAYS ALWAYS use evidence.
DeleteWhen talking about how I feel about my appearance, I believe that I don't have the greatest appearance but its also not average. Towards most teachers I feel that my appearance is ratherly high. I feel this way because I'm certainly not kown as one of the many obstacles that hinder the teacher from teaching. Infact, I've tried to motivate other students not to get disengaged with their work and drift off.
ReplyDeleteTowards students, my appearance differs depending on who the person is. Some students enjoy socializing with me and their I've made a good appearance. To some students that I didn't talk to much, I really haven't made an appearance at all because of the lack of socialization. Though there are students that are not fond of my appearance at all I'm not fond their's either. If we ever end up in a conversation, it lands up in a conflict or argument.
My appearance does effect the way I act because I don't want my appearance to hit bottom. For that not to happen I need to act mature and not foolish. I can't let the teachers think twice about me.
The way I act with students differs depending on who it is. If my appearance towards them is high, then I try to keep it that way. To the students that I haven't made a good appearance on, I just try to ignore. I don't show them any importance. I don't bother to notice them and I let them come to me instead of me coming to them. Finally, to those that I have not made any appearance at all, I just try to get a good appearance towards them.
Great vocab and grammar. Have very good sentences in there and your reasoning supports your opinion greatly.
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ReplyDeleteMy favourite and best journal response from the month of May, was the HMS Titanic narrative, which I don't have with me today, so I can't post it. So here's another one that's ehh:
ReplyDeleteHow would you describe We All Fall Down?
I would describe the book We All Fall Down as action-packed. How Will was so persistent on getting somewhere safe, but by safe, he meant go nowhere near the scorching blaze. Yet, his father thought the exact opposite; that going toward the fire may be the safest option yet. Will was almost always in agitation and panic during their escape, and his extent thoughts made it seem as if they stopped walking down the stairs, which made me want to yell, "Just run already!".
The whole book was based on their escape, along with the dialogue and Will's train of thoughts, that I was so eager and impatient to complete the book. I wanted to skip to the last page and read the last chapters once and for all. Further more, having the book read aloud to us made it all the more "exiting", because of the tones, emotions, expressions and sincerity it was read with.
I most enjoyed the part of the story where Will found that his father was still alive, and how he remembered about the whistle. I also felt relieved when his father came up with the idea of using the tie for protection from the smoke and polluted air. If it was me in Will and John's situation, I'd be on my knees; in tears screaming as loud as my lung could take, let alone remembering about the whistle around my neck; because I'm forgetful, and that would be the the first thing on my mind.
My response was in paragraphs but I don't know why it took away my indentations at the beginning of each paragraph.
ReplyDeleteI’m not confident in my appearance. I only like certain parts of my body. I feel this way because of society. I feel like I shouldn’t look this way. I’m not saying I want to be skinny or anything. But I just want to have a shape society would be pleased with so no one could judge me. Thankfully, my appearance doesn’t affect my attitude or behaviour. The way I act is the way I WANT to act. It is justified because when people take that first glance at me they don’t expect to be outgoing, and as soon as I’m comfortable, they would tell me they never would’ve expected this from me.
ReplyDeleteFor example, when family of mine arrived in Canada, I hadn’t seen them for about two years , andso they remembered , and so they remembered this little girl who was super shy, still had the last bits of her baby voice. They were pretty shocked to see I had grown a lot and had grown. But at first, I was really shy, but after a few weeks I was so comfortable that I was loud, I talked back, and you couldn’t have a day that passed by that you couldn’t hear me screaming. One day my cousin had sat me down and was telling me about how much I had changed.
You should use more commas instead of periods because your sentences are really short. I also feel like you should put in more emotion into this response you gave like using deep words and such.
DeleteWell i dont really watch that much T.V to be honest, even through theres a T.V in my room I just never get around to watch anything on it,still to this day I only use my T.V to use as a background noise when im home alone.The times i have nothing to do and i feel like watching T.V
ReplyDeletei usally watch classic movies for example (Friday, twilight, back to the future, pacifier, waterboy or final destination).
The times I watch T.V shows i usaclly watch the cartoon channel "Nick" or MTV if theres girl code on, somtimes i watch CSI with my brother but not as often.
What stops you from watching tv ?
DeleteI think you could've wrote a bit more and added a bit more high end vocabulary. Maybe you could've had your 'I's' in capital, since many of them are not capitalized.
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ReplyDeleteThe journal response I am posting about where you wake up on the HMS Titanic.
Obviously this being a narrative like prompt, I have to do some estimating and use my prior knowledge to help me to continue the story. I chose to begin, or rather continue my story at night. The night when the "unsinkable" ocean liner is about to crash.
I woke up, I felt the cold air enveloping me as I got up shuddering. I thought I was lucid dreaming. But after what seemed like a myriad of slaps to my face, reality had finally sunk in. I looked around, no one seemed to notice me, then again, it was the middle of the night. So I went to find someone....anyone.
Very few people were on the main deck and most of them were workers by the name tags on their chest. I thought it was best to avoid them, being that I didn't remember anything. I rummaged through my pockets and I found nothing good. "A wallet, pen...a key!!!" I said excitedly to myself. The key must open the room I had on the ship. So I ran through out the ship, finally finding room #11.
After dropping it a few times, I quickly jammed the key in the lock, nearly breaking it, and I slowly turned it praying that it worked. The door had unlocked, and with glee I entered. It didn't appear to harbour many people, it seemed like I was here alone. I looked through the stuff and found a warm jacket, I hastily put it on. Slowly the heat began removing the cold, like a boxer knocking out his opponent. I then went to lay down, as soon as I layed down my eyes began to shut. I seemed to be forgetting the terror and agony that was, who knows how long away, for a minuscule second. I got up and I quickly told myself what I needed to do.
I went outside my room, not before grabbing another jacket, and ran to a map of the boat in my hallway. I found where the captain should be and I was determined to find him. After what seemed like hours, I saw the room, but there was a guard in the way. "HALT" he screamed at me. "WHAT BUSINESS DO YOU HAVE HERE CHILD!?" he demanded. I sensed a little tinge of anger within me hearing the way he called me "child". I told him I needed to see the captain and he just laughed in my face. It was a long shot, but I decided to tell him my story.
"OUCH!" I yelled.He kicked me out of the room on to the deck. "YOU DARE TRY TO BRIBE ME!?" It was my last chance.On the deck I thought of something else to do but then, my stomach lurched. In the distance, a figure was forming in the water and I was at a loss for words.
Man, that was a great first person story, great vocab too, like for example the words, lucid, myriad , agony and lurched.your story also felt like it was written by an author.
DeleteI hate rap. Well not the kinda hate that's so extreme, like "Oh, I hate you so much that I'm gonna kill you and castrate you to death - serial killer kind of hate", but the kind if hate that gets me angry and ruins my entire mood. You can tell by listening to the 90s rap and musicians and comparing it to today's rap and musicians. There's songs that don't make sense and songs that preach the wrong message. But like Cheney said it a lot of genres do the same thing. Not only rap. But to me rap is like the main place where you can find people talking sex, drugs and money. Like Sarah said, Rap is like at the top.
ReplyDeleteAlso there are some rap artists that drench them selves in money, especially in music videos, they have a lot of girls or boys (depending on the gender) dressed in clothes that show A LOT of skin and have scenes of them drinking, smoking weed, and swimming in a pool of money. Then you have 12 year olds watching it and saying "when I grow up I wanna be a rapper"no, don't unless though you can change the face of rap. But this is what many artist tend to do, sometimes the video's not even related to the song! Then there's songs that don't even make sense, I've seen song titles such as 'Stupid H**' or 'Hate being sober', what are they trying to tell us!
Now not all rap artists are like this, and if I've said anywhere in the last two paragraphs about how all rap artist say horrible things then I apologize for the hypocrisy or whatever, but yeah not all artists are like that, for example Macklemore preaches and talks about controversial topics and songs that make people feel good. I don't know much about Enimem, but I have heard that he is the most respected artist in the industry, so I guess that make him a good guy, though he does swear a lot in his songs, but who doesn't. But then there are artists like Chief Keef, don't get me started in him. No! Wait I will talk about him and how I hate him so much. This guy is loved by so many people and every recording label company wanted to sign him. Why in the world would you want someone who threatens other artists and makes stupid songs like 'I hate being sober'. The thing I hate the most is how one time (now this a totally different topic, girls get you feminism side ready) Katy Perry tweeted "Just heard a new song on the radio called 'I hate being sober' I now have serious doubt for the world" in which this 17 year old guy threatened to smack her, and you knew what she did! She apologized! Why would you apologize to a kid that's younger than you and wants to smack you! I'd get angry and throw a fit, call some secret agents and murder him. I'm joking, I won't do that, not possible, nun uh, never, not possible. Then there was this other time where Lupe Fiasco (one that actually makes good music) talked about how Chief Keef scares him and described him as a 'hoodlum' and a representative of Chicago's murder rate. Keef threatened him on twitter, but claimed that his account was hacked, yeah right.
What I'm trying to say is that there are good artists that make listening to rap good , but then there are artists that downgrade it.
I had written this in paragraphs but it seems the iPad I was using has messed up....again.
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DeleteI looked around helplessly,my hearted throbbed questioning me.Where was I?,Where had i been? How was it that I ended up to this outdated time frame?"My gaze settled upon the swarm of folks,who were all gazing back at me.One woman must have observed,without any doubts that I was freezing. She immedietly reappeared with a blanket.I shuddered to a slow halt as she draped the blanket on me." How considerate of and thoughtful of her.She gently laid her hand on me and sat,side by side by me.She studied me then calmly soothed me by embracing me into a hug. From the look on her eyes,she clearly read me like an open book and figured right away." I wasnt from around here. Then suddenly my heart came to a halt as someone screamed "there she is,arrest that tresspasser!"
ReplyDeleteThe moment I woke up,I immedietly felt the comfort of my bed back home.I was sure it all had been only just a dream,that's all." I stiffled a yawn.I blinked my eyes and noticed daylight beaming down on me from a circular wondow.Huh? I wondered thats strange.I looked around confused then ever,I wasnt at home not yet.I was in a little dorm,with appealing wallpaper. Someone tapped me from behind. I inhaled the smell of pancakes and scrambled eggs,my stomach ached and grumbled. The same leady from before approached me. She spoke to me and explained how she had saved from the authority,by concluding me as her niece. I told her how I didnt belong here and so on.She ushered me to hush child,and slowly whispered: "Yes dear I know of all,all will be well in a matter of time." My ears "tingled." Just as that I fell into a deep lumber of sleep.For a matter of days."
As days passed I started enrolling myself onto taking shifts as a waiteress on board.Half my salary,I'd give it to Mrs.Henry who was the lady who had to start off,rescued me from the start.Today's shift was extremely tiring,who had ever given a thought that dainty people could eat so much."I heard a screech out my dorm door. I immedietly rushed outside to see the commotion of what was going on.In every direction,place,near and far all I had noticed was the ruckus and commotion of the passengers on board,who had all suddenly came to a halt. Everyone glided and came to a stop,and held on for a dear life as the ship made a pivoted turn.As all that happened,I saw a silver bracelet gleaming.My stomach churned."
I rushed over to that somebody who I'd assume it was.She lied helplessly on the ledge of the front lobby."I couldn't quite make of her in the fark,although i apprehended she was oozing with blood.I felt her front temples. "It was mild hot,and i had felt something dripping. This time I beamed down more closely and looked her by the skin.There was a open gash,it bled non stop. I teared a bit of my shirt and wrapped it around her forhead,as a dressing for her wound.She breathed eavily,I shivered as her gaze settled right on me.Mrs.henry was unquestionably suffering in pain. I tried shunning my tears,but I couldn't. I broke down right there on the spot,into a whale of tears. I had already lost my family and now my most precious being,was not able to comfort me.As if that,i sprawled myself onto Mrs.Henry shielding her."
I noticed now people were being hauled down into lifeboats.Something was definitely wrong." Peole were in fear of something I wasn't sure what though.Despite knowing Mrs.henry was in pain,I beseeched her to make an attempt to get up.She was in need of serious medical attention.She struggled,but managed to have atleast got up on her own two feet." I saw the pleading look in her eyes,the innoncence,the kindness,warmth that made her,her.Just as that people ran into us,"like a wild herd." I felt myself being trampled.I screamed and moaned in pain. " I motioned around looking for Mrs.Henry. She was even in more pain then before.I crawled away towards her. I shrieked and wailed as someone stepped on my fingers."The last thing I knew,I was cursing."
DeleteAfter a brief while,I was able to make my way over to the woman,who was my everything. " She was breathing even more heavily now." Her voice had become raspy and she was weezing. I slowly embraced myself to the railing,and made my way up.Suddely someone nudged me. I shuddered and slipt.My foot had kicked something hard,than it ached. I looked down. Mrs.Henry was no longer there. I heard a splash below the ship.My gaze settled down to what had been floating.It was a figure,not just any ordinary figure. I plunged in diving head first into the crashing waves." It was freezing,my legs felt numb. I was struggling to catch my breath. I grabbed on to what was Mrs.Henry.She smiled at me one last time.her eyelids had shut close.Mrs.Henry was no more.The waves starting crashing tingling my spine.Then suddenly i started recalling my entire lifetime.Every moment,by moment,my father,mother,Mrs.henry and my friends.I cupped Mrs.Henrys lifeless chin. I murmured a soft prayer,and suddenly i felt myself sinking.We sunk to our death.
Wow, your imagination is truly unbelievable. This story was very touching. I love your storyline and the emotion you put into the last few moments of yours and Mrs. Henry's.
DeleteWow, that was a good story, great detail. I like the way you expressed your emotions through your writing, the way you described things, it was like a real author, better than some authors too, it was way better than Robert munches stories. I think you have a great chance at becoming an author.
DeleteThe way you described the gash on Mrs. Henry's forehead had my stomach churning! This such a beautiful story, so much detail was put into this. Your use of vocabulary is extraordinary! The only thing that confuses me is how long did your work as a maid?Titanic was in service for only five days (started on April 10 and sank on April 15), so I don't think you can get money in only five days, unless though you got your wage everyday, which I think is highly unlikely, otherwise this a wonderful story!
DeleteMy favourite journal response from May is: Can a person work to hard for something?
ReplyDeleteYes a person can work to hard at something, for example in the NBA there is a guy named Andray Blatche, he was one rebound away from a triple-double, which is getting ten or more points,assists, and rebounds. There was like forty seconds left on the clock to finish the game, he went as far as to ask the other opponent to let him get the rebound, also in the last seconds of the game you are suppose to show sportsmanship and not shoot it, if you are winning, Blatche told his teammate to miss on purpose so he could get the rebound, but that didn't happen. In conclusion yes people can work to hard at something.
I like your connection to NBA, it was a good and simple way to prove something so easily.
DeleteMay 10th, 2013 We All Fall Down Heta Khatri
ReplyDeleteAnswer:
I would describe we all fall down as a powerful, and heart touching story. Based on a true event, Eric Walters created a book which is now famous worldwide. We all fall down was based on the 9-11 attack in 2001. If you know the correct facts of the event (what times the towers get hit, when do the towers fall, which tower falls down first, ect.) then you will probably be really into the book. The book is very precise, so knowing your facts before reading is a big factor in understanding the book. When you read this book you can imagine all these pictures going through your head, more like flashes in your head of the scenes that are happening, you are able to put yourself in the characters shoes and imagine you as them.
What I enjoyed most about this book is that the way it was read to us, if I had to read the book for myself I wouldn't have enjoyed it as much as I had when we read as a read aloud. I don't even think I would have even been interested in reading the book, because I honestly don't like reading and I would almost do anything to avoid it. Before we started to read this book, we were brought knowledge to facts about the 9-11 attack. Things like when the towers got hit, what time did the towers collapse, which tower fell first. Knowing these facts made the book more enjoyable and us very much attached to the book. When we stopped at a chapter we always wanted to know what was going to happen next.
We all fall down is a very intense book and it all depends on how you read it. You can read it I'm your head with no passion and it will be boring or you can read aloud with a lot of emphasize and the book can be very powerful. I think that this is what made we all fall down such a interesting book, is that the way it was read to us. Therefore, I do believe that read aloud is powerful, and it also is a great way to keep students and others attached to the story. Read aloud should be promoted!
I totally agree that we should promote and continue read aloud as our years continue, it tells a lot when a great reader tells a great story! Knowing what happens in the story actually makes the anticipation for that event even more due to the unpredictable story that is We All Fall Down. One thing about your writing that you could brush up on is how you express what you say. Such as sentences where you are appreciative of the story Rebound you could throw in a exclamation mark. But other than that great journal response.
DeleteI agree! Eric Walters also managed to explain that life is truly important and that we should cherish it as much as we can. This story is truly powerful and intense!
ReplyDeleteI toppled over, bumping into a pale young lady with three children. Perhaps those children belong to the lady, although she seems much too young. Frightened and unable to speak, I motioned to stand up as I went flinging backwards- Head into the water first, and then my body. My head swallowed by the ocean had made it seem as if this was my last minute. Flashbacks and thoughts started crowding my head " Where am I ... I mean Titanic? I'm ... in the past? But how! Or is this the future... the Titanic of 2016? GOD HELP ME." I was speaking to myself with unfinished sentences and even found myself cussing; I would never swear...What was I doing? My head emerged from the water as I started spitting and coughing. I pulled my hair back and dried my face as much as I could My eyes unable to see from the water...No I had wiped eyes already... I found myself in tears. I was crying in fear when my head clicked; I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SWIM!
ReplyDeleteThe night sky seemed way too calm and felt like a blessing brightening my way. I smiled (Right at that moment, I knew I looked awfully like a drunk person!)But suddenly stopped with a shock in my face “Wait, why I am still here? What is this...a dream, time warp, DEATH? I kept drifting through my mind to find an exact book I had read to explain all of this nonsense. My clothes were sticking to my skin making me feel extremely uncomfortable. I turned around as I saw in surprise, the lady and the three children once again. At the present moment, they looked a bit wet and very terrified. All across the horizon I could see nothing but, the deep, black, gulping water. A shiver ran down my spine as I was about to tear up again, “In the water...sharks...DARK...nothing...DEAD." Only words puzzled up in my head causing me to be traumatized. The lady's hand reached over on top of my head "And who shall you be?" She asked in the old way of speaking thou a sweet, soothing, caring voice - I'm in the past. I stared out at the children with my mouth open but, no words came out to speak.
I sat quietly amongst the children who were sleeping. I touched one's cheek which was very plump thought looked in sorrow. With the best words I can use, I explained to her of how much confusion I was in. She smiled the whole conversation... almost as if there were no worries. She was very pretty, and unusual. Well, everything seemed unusual to me so I sat arms around my knee quiet and invisible. Well, to the children I was invisible but, to the lady...she clearly wanted to talk to me more. After a while I started to speak as well talking to her like she is my best friend. I think I let her in on all my secrets. I felt comfortable discussing my problems with her. “So how do you feel about that mean girl at school?" she asked with a smile. Wait, how is it that she knows? I haven't said a single word about ...SCHOOL. Her face was innocent but, all of a sudden changed into a face of guilt. I let it pass; I was too tired to think.
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DeleteI actually started enjoying the journey and the horizon looked beautiful. For someone who has just been on the crash of Titanic, it wasn't normal to enjoy your time. I liked it much better here than, back at home. The voice of my parent's anger, "Argh" I don't even want to think about all my life. I realized that I didn't know the lady's name; I was about to ask when she spoke " You know a lot of people like you, you just don't know. Something good is going to happen, I promise. Just wait for it!" I looked at her strangely, feeling that she knows too much. I saw another flash of guilt on her face. " You're not suppose to know this..." she whispered. For some reason anger was spreading throughout me and I was no longer able to contain it. I screamed " WHO ARE YOU AND WHY DO YOU KNOW SO MUCH ABOUT ME!". The boat started shifting side to side, I saw a pointy fin surround the boat. 'POP' the sharp fin inflated the life boat! I started to panic as the children vanished. Only me and the lady was left. " Listen, I'm from the heavens and you have to trust me. I know what's going on on your life. Remember what I said!" she cried out. I fell into the water " My life is going to get better? Uhh...sure is I'm DYING!"
DeleteI woke up with a sudden pump and a blast in my heart. Everything was too blurry to identify except the voices I can here. I heard people talking…muffled in their blue cloths over their mouth. They were a uniform of blue and white pattern…familiar to something to be worn in a hospital. With a clearer version I was able to see a doctor, his open mouth smiling at me but, ironically crying in the background. I felt someone hold my hand and shake me as I stiffly moved my head to look over to them. There they were my family crying in happiness. “You know a lot of people like you, you just don't know.” I remembered from the back of my head. “You were in coma, a small break for your life to realize what is going on. I hope you remember me. It was nice, communicating with a human.” She spoke to me in her ‘sweet, soothing, caring voice’.
This was one of my best well written journal responses from May about the continues story of Titanic.
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ReplyDeleteI value free speech as a time to show yourself out, to express your feelings on something that you are truly invested in. Like Eden's extravagant speech, people thought that the speech was too controversial for the audience, which is amazingly absurd because speeches are supposed to change your opinion on a topic. For example, the smoking speech, It was great but…we already knew about it. Sure she wanted to tell something about smoking and why it's bad for you although, we knew that way before and it doesn't really change any opinion about "smoking". The one thing that makes a telling speech is the topic you choose. And picking the topic is the easiest segment of the speech, if you are invested and are capable of not taking homage in relying on the paper itself. When you have rules and regulations put on top of free-speech causes a boundary on the intellectual prowess that you already have. When that happens creativity and wiseness are left as the things that are left out in a important speech. Suppose I bring this back to the student elections, their creativity got undermined due to the terms and conditions that were to keep things "simple". It's like cutting out ideas and pasting the same thing over and over again. Those speeches aren't so different now are they?
ReplyDeleteWe all preach for something great, something stupendous but when it comes to the situation, we are pulled back by social judgement.
I think that Eden's speech is the source to why I think this way, this opinion is a by-product of a speech and what the aftermath was. Sure she had a "controversial" topic but her speech was unmatched by anyone else. If you compared her speech to all the other ones, you'd be immediately compelled by what she had addressed to you and how much of an impact it will have when you are making these type of life decisions later on in life. And yet, they deny free speech because their topic wasn't comfortable to their own state of mind. I found this very influential to my opinion, that infuriating things like this happen all around the world. Things like being gay in some countries can get you killed in public with rocks, and yet we preach for something different and revolutionary for our humanity. Also great idols such as: Martin Luther King was a very great and straight forward and put his soul into everything that he believed in. Many of those thing a were thought to be controversial at that time, he taught me that small words can have a big impact on society when you, yourself are true in the subject.
I can make a real-world connection to many great pupils but there is one that I have in mind. And that one person is none other than Martin Luther King. Martin Luther King used free speech as a way to get people to be persuaded in the thought of allowing civil rights and values for the black community. At MLK's time, people would be killed for making free speech of such a topic. Since he was so invested in this topic he risked dying for his cause, which was shared widely among the black community. During MLK's time he went trough many pros and cons; The cons were the attempted assassinations and hate crime, etc. Pro's were that a lot of people were believing in his cause at that time, and trust was built between politicians and the leaders. MLK was a magnificent piece of work.
Many things can be used to express my feelings for the free speech favoring and so forth. Free speech should be allowed for these right reasons that I just pointed out.
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ReplyDeleteOver the past two school years I have done many journal topics, each include their own type of argument with my own opinion where some may agree or disagree. My opinions on certain subjects are a bit wired because it’s the way I view things but I’ve notice many of us do think the same. We have done a variety of journal topics and I have plenty notebooks filled with them which I don't have with me today so one that I wrote on lined paper is the one we did in Friday. I can't recall the whole question properly but it was something such as 'Do you like you appearance?' In this topic I did also include a bit on Beaumonde Heights fashion.
ReplyDeleteBefore I begin I find most of my journal topics on bullying and appearance the far best because I can relate to these topics and have a lot to say about them. I also find these they two best topics yet because in this generation us teens lack on something very vital,self-esteem.Many of us aren't interested in creating a future or school work but concerned in being able to fit in by having the hottest clothing , perfect hair and perfect bodies. Most teen girls work on their appearance more than anything
Appearance creates who we are in the present days the way we talk the way we walk the way we think all reflects upon our individuality and is shown non-verbally. But is that really appearance? Or is it just the island we like to sit on and says what's right and wrong?
FIRST: Appearance is when numerous can hurriedly make a judgement.
Each tattoo on someone's body holds a story, every piercing upon someone's skin holds a tear and every scar on their body holds an issue....or at least it did but doesn't anymore. In today's world kids get them for popularity and has turned these symbolic into bad influences and in the state of 'emo' which apparently being Emo is a bad thing. A few months ago on the day of her birthday the beautiful Lauren dyed the side tips of her hair a Sea green/bluish, along with that she got a lip piercing for many of us it was unusual because you don't really see many of grade 8's with a lip piercing but she made a decision and she felt it was okay. None of us had the right to judge but as being human beings we all did and so as soon as many saw her they being to judge her saying "eww she looks emo" "Lauren that's nasty" so on so forth. First of all there's nothing wrong with looking emo, what is so nasty on being emo? It’s Close enough to punk and rock Emo is now know for its more emotional state of mind. Instead of the anger hard-core way of expressing one-self. Secondly as I said in the beginning we all may think the same but not all of us do. We all told her what she did was wrong but she thought what she did was right, and to certain subject there's no right or wrong. What we think isn't always right. Appearance can be scary because there are many of us out there to judge and we aren't quite sure what people will say about us, because having different views creates drama. Many of us didn't see this happening but it did. Personally I know many won’t say this but when I saw Lauren at first I was shocked , in my head I was like Whoa... because it was different than the rest, I didn't say anything to Lauren but I didn't realize how much what we all said hurt her, many said it indirectly and some did it straight up. Either way it hurt her.
THEN: Appearance is a struggling math question, where many struggle and feel furious.
DeleteIf E wears something it equals to A+ and F wear the same thing solve for what F equals too? All I tell you is it doesn't equal to A + Confusing I tell you, confusing! But this is the way 21st century kids brain works! Let me cut it down for you. In today’s world anyone can wear the same thing as you, but if the “popular” girl in school wears the same thing, automatically you tried to copy them , what your wearing is cheap and what your wearing doesn’t look good on you but looks better on them..This in the ending creates drama. In school clothes end up becoming a judgement mark, either way someone’s getting hurt but no one cares at all. Appearance has become a vast topic everywhere, and no matter how much we know what’s right and what’s wrong our judgments won’t change. Before walking out the door most of us think 10 times in how we look because when we go to school we don’t want people saying it doesn’t look good at all. Most of us think if we buy expensive nice clothing it will make us popular, but it doesn’t and making an effort to “fit in” creates a catastrophe, bigger then you think and in the conclusion you end up hurting yourself.
NEXT: Appearance is money but money doesn’t always work, the judgement is made wrong.
Abercrombie and Fitch, Aeropostale, American eagle, Forever 21, Hollister, etc. All these expensive brand name stores.... To start off, these brand name stores are nothing but a rip off. They add a little eagle on the side of the shirt that many don’t even see and it costs like $20.00. I may be saying this but I admit I still buy their clothes but anyway. Brand name clothes have made the biggest yet effect to our society, many go bankrupt just spending money on clothes, and trying to stay updated to the newest clothing. But what does that have an effect on people? Most say ‘I buy good clothes to make me feel good’ oh is it really? I think not! Most buy good clothes to get compliments from people but this whole popular non popular thing as I said 10 million times already creates DRAMA! A popular girl may be wearing and American Eagle shirt every day , but the un-popular girl wears an unknown brand and then the next 2-3 days she wears a nice brand maybe even better then the popular girls and people begin to compliment her it becomes the state where her shirt was a knock-off. She becomes the ‘cheap girl’, or the ‘poor’. At first it made no sense to me...then it clicked. Only popular girls say that in jealousy, no one wants someone wearing the same thing as them, who likes it? I admit I HATE IT! But the jealous girl hates the fact that no one’s complimenting her anymore, so just people stop complimenting others she says it a knock-off. In life I never understood what does it matter if it’s a knock off or not? At least they own some shoes! So appearance wise if a person buys something on sale it’s a knock-off, if a person gets complemented it’s a knock-off
* There's still more this is just the first few paragraphs I wrote I'm trying to cut it down as much as possible but its not quite working and taking longer than i expected*