Find two other poems and provide feedback for them to use to improve. Be specific with your criticue - consider vocabulary , sensations of feel smell touch, empathy!
You could have added his negatives personality. As well as you could have made each line flow, for example Thoughtful would related to caring. Open minded would have related to stand up.
Although Davids humor might seem wry; Don't get him angry; or he'll give you the side-eye. He zips by on his wheelchair; while he has a brave attitude to flair. But actually, he is a GOOD guy!
I love how you used uncommon words and really descriptive words in your poem, but I don't really think David is boisterous at all throughout the book, although, yes,he has an aggressive nature. I agree with the poem with David being anxious,and cantankerous, but not-so-much with 'punky', because as the words definition suggests, David isn't always 'sick', 'tired', or 'rotten'.
I like how you used very high end vocabulary, but I don't think you should use that many words that we are not fond of because I know that almost all of us, like myself, had to search up what cantankerous and rambunctious means.
You used nice high vocabulary however you started with he is for every sentence. You could have started with other words but I enjoyed reading your poem
Me reading this makes me think that Daivd is a Bad person and he is a very negative person,but David also has some positive traits which you should have talked about, other than that the negative traits that you choose flows with the character, which is good :)
You could have added something a bit more positive instead of sort of neutral and negative because there is more to David, it isn't only how he has anger issues and he is mad all the time, he has some positives to him.
A huge difference (5 syllables) Never the same a big change (7 syllables) Unalike, Diverse (5 syllables) Unsimilar, not the same (7 syllables) Different and unequal (7 syllables)
your poem is very deep. i like it because you explain it in words that really fit in the poem. it is short and easy to read which makes it more interesting. it gets boring when you read a long poem so i prefer to read short poems like yours
I like you poem but i noticed at the lat part you said different is unequal I disagree with that because just cause you're different that does not mean that ur unequal
You have an amazing poem-the rhymes really stand out and prove points! I just love the way you captured one of Rebounds main problems in a poem. But, I'm not sure what type of poem it is though. However, there are just a few grammatical errors and spelling mistakes. Good work though!
I cannot walk I am much more different But that doesn't mean That I am unimportant There's no need to be TOO kind Or even too rude After all we're all humankind So treat us respectfully too
He's David, brave and strong, sometimes he can be really wrong, he acts really rude but he's pathetic, David is good at being athletic , David is tall and has legs that are long .
test
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteCinquain-David
ReplyDeleteHelp
Don't help
I am fine, so please
I was a champion at Basketball
I am irritated
Help me
Irritated is that a aord you use to describe david?
Deletehe is irritated about being in a wheel chair.
DeleteDavid is o stubborn to call for help so why add that in the poem?
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteDavid
ReplyDeleteThoughtful Brave
Adaptive Caring Stand-Up
Action Friendship Responsbility
Open-Minded Strong
David
You could have added his negatives personality. As well as you could have made each line flow, for example Thoughtful would related to caring. Open minded would have related to stand up.
DeleteDoes this encompas all of davids chareacter ? Seems to give a very one sided picrure of david the person
DeleteDAVID
ReplyDeletebitter reliable
interesting wishing raging
a man with a plan to rise
DAVID
Very strong vocabulary - raging!!!
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteLimerick- David
ReplyDeleteAlthough Davids humor might seem wry;
Don't get him angry; or he'll give you the side-eye.
He zips by on his wheelchair;
while he has a brave attitude to flair.
But actually, he is a GOOD guy!
Actually you say? Not sure by your poem that i getbthevfeeling that he is not a good guy
DeleteI liked how you rhymed with the words
DeleteDavid-
ReplyDeleteHe is very cantankerous
He gets very grumpy
He can become anxious
He acts punky
He is sometimes rambunctious
I love how you used uncommon words and really descriptive words in your poem, but I don't really think David is boisterous at all throughout the book, although, yes,he has an aggressive nature. I agree with the poem with David being anxious,and cantankerous, but not-so-much with 'punky', because as the words definition suggests, David isn't always 'sick', 'tired', or 'rotten'.
DeleteWhat style is this?
DeleteLimerick
DeleteI like how you used very high end vocabulary, but I don't think you should use that many words that we are not fond of because I know that almost all of us, like myself, had to search up what cantankerous and rambunctious means.
DeleteYou used nice high vocabulary however you started with he is for every sentence. You could have started with other words but I enjoyed reading your poem
DeleteCinquain David
ReplyDeleteDavid
Bitter, Ferocious
Drawing, Fighting, Rolling
David is in a wheelchair
Different
This poem is really descriptive and describes David perfectly!
DeleteAny positive words? Gives a one sided perspective on his personality
DeleteMe reading this makes me think that Daivd is a Bad person and he is a very negative person,but David also has some positive traits which you should have talked about, other than that the negative traits that you choose flows with the character, which is good :)
DeleteYou could have added something a bit more positive instead of sort of neutral and negative because there is more to David, it isn't only how he has anger issues and he is mad all the time, he has some positives to him.
Deleteill keep all of this in mind
DeleteTanka : Being Diffrent
ReplyDeleteBeing Diffrent
is certainly big time.
It makes you unique.
If you wanna be special,
Be yourself, be diffrent.
Enjoyed reading your poem, but how does it relate to either characters David or Sean?
Deletei like your poem. it describes how being different can be a good thing. it does not always mean that being different is a bad thing.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteThanks Phillip
Deleteyour poem sounds good but isn't relevant to the characters
DeleteSean-
ReplyDeleteHe is big and strong
He is good at sports
He can jump high
He is good at basketball
He is athletic
He is... Whatbstyle is this ... Seems more like a common retell of words
DeleteYou should have started with other words rather than he is all the tine
DeleteYou should've explained more about him than using words to show his personality.
DeleteLimerick poem about David:
ReplyDeleteThey don't understand!
I am not agitated!
I'm not divergent!
Don't show me any pity,
This chair is not who I am.
Powerful! Can sense the conflict and challenge of being david
DeleteItś very deep on Davidś perspective I liked the ending ¨the chair is not who I am"
DeleteThanks!
DeleteThis poem is very meaningful and you can see the message behind it. Great work!
DeleteCinquain Poem
ReplyDeleteDavid
Outgoing, Athletic, Smart,
Artistique, Rude,
they all represent
davids mood.
Cute rythem and rhyme to finish it off
Deletenice poem it rhymes really good
DeleteTanka Poem - Different
ReplyDeleteA huge difference (5 syllables)
Never the same a big change (7 syllables)
Unalike, Diverse (5 syllables)
Unsimilar, not the same (7 syllables)
Different and unequal (7 syllables)
Your poem is good however you followed the tanka poem rules correctly
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
Deleteyour poem is very deep. i like it because you explain it in words that really fit in the poem. it is short and easy to read which makes it more interesting. it gets boring when you read a long poem so i prefer to read short poems like yours
DeleteI like you poem but i noticed at the lat part you said different is unequal I disagree with that because just cause you're different that does not mean that ur unequal
DeleteEven towards people that are not his friends,
ReplyDeleteSean won't act resentful.
But when he trys to be kind to one friend,
To either he can be hurtful.
Speaking of his friends,
They have bad taste.
Little do they realize,
Sean is two faced.
They may still be attached to Sean,
Since Sean is jockular.
That may be the reason,
Why among his friends he's popular.
But Sean needs to learn,
Sooner or later he needs to pick a side.
It's either Scott or David,
Not both! Or the two sides will bicker and colide.
Now it's a fight,
Between David and Scott.
Who will win now?
Well that's Sean's decision…their's not.
It's a good poem but when you make it so long people will get bored
DeleteYou have an amazing poem-the rhymes really stand out and prove points! I just love the way you captured one of Rebounds main problems in a poem. But, I'm not sure what type of poem it is though. However, there are just a few grammatical errors and spelling mistakes. Good work though!
DeleteNice peom!
DeleteIs this a freestyle rhyming poem or a style we had to use
Tanka
ReplyDeleteHe's in a wheelchair
I stand there in confusion
And I get pushed down
Everything , in slow motion
I hope it's just a nightmare
I like how you described David but you could have used words that were high vocab otherwise it is good
DeleteI really like how the poem sounds and is well described
DeleteLimerick Poem- David
ReplyDeleteHe started out with such temper
But David surely wasn't the one to whimper
His harsh passion was OUTRAGEOUS
but he is
very courageous
Your poem is really nice and makes sense
DeleteI like how write "outrageous" in capitals. It really makes you want to read it with expression. It put life into your poem
DeleteDIFFERENT
ReplyDeleteI cannot walk
I am much more different
But that doesn't mean
That I am unimportant
There's no need to be TOO kind
Or even too rude
After all we're all humankind
So treat us respectfully too
This comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteThis implies about David but you could have made it a bit more about being different in general instead of only about David.
DeleteTanka-Sean
ReplyDeleteWhen David is near
Pity is never present
David is equal,
For Sean, he sees no contrast
between them at any moment
David has a temper
ReplyDeleteHe must change for the better
Or he will stay like that forever
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletelimerick
ReplyDeleteDifferent
pink hair brown skin
clothes held together with a pin
yelling and screaming
when I start dreaming
knowing I'll never win
David
ReplyDeleteConfident
Sensitive
Aggressive
Faithful
Courage
Limirick Poem
ReplyDeleteHe's David, brave and strong,
sometimes he can be really wrong,
he acts really rude but he's pathetic,
David is good at being athletic ,
David is tall and has legs that are long .
David is so competitive
ReplyDeletehe sometimes acts negative
he's tall strong and fast
and can go on a blast
David can also get sensitive
I like your poem but the last like kind of sounds like you just threw it in. Maybe you can say,"but he can also get sensitive"
DeleteUpdated Poem : Tanka-(Being Different-David)
ReplyDeleteDavid is Human too.
He just sees thing in his point of view.
Being Different is Being you
Don't be Me, David , or Sean.
Just be as creative as you!