English and Math
The Gold Book
I got this
powdered water - now I don't know what to add.
Journal Response
- Imagine you wake up and you are no longer in your own bed at home. Instead you are freezing cold, lying on your back and gazing at the stars. Slowly you stand and notice you are on a large ocean liner; its funnels clear against the moonlight. You turn to read the name on one of the lifeboats and your heart lurches; 'HMS Titanic'. Describe what happens next.
Share your best idea from the story you wrote but highlight where you got the idea from a book, show, movie, own imagination.
The key component is understanding how we use our previous knowledge and memory to construct our writing.
Respond to 3 other students as well and create some dialogue back and forth about the thigs that influenced your story.
It's hard choosing 1 part, mainly because I wrote it not to just emphasize one point but all the parts piece together like a puzzle.
ReplyDeleteBut I think the favourite part I wrote was when I found my room and entered it. I was relieved by being warm and laying down in a bed that I almost forgot what was going to happen. This thought shows that how easily we can be distracted, even when the true challenge is yet to come.
Is there anything else you would've written had you more time?
DeleteIf so, how would the story unfold and be concluded?
Well where I stopped currently was sort of a cliff hanger ending. I wrote after this part that I decided to find the captain and the guard wouldn't let me. So when I got booted, I saw the iceberg in the distance.I wanted to stop there but if I were to add more I'd write about the total panic that I was facing and how I would risk a lot to try to speak to the captain and get him to listen to me.
DeleteAlso this idea just came to me as I was writing though you can probably see these type of situations in movies and such
So you knew what was going to happen? Okay well what real life situation could you compare that thought to? One that you've experienced.
DeleteWhat influenced that position? Why is returning to bed so vivid? What gavew you the idea of a cliff hanger ending?
DeleteSee how you said you will make them stop but how they are not going to listen to some kid they need proof to stop it and like they are going to believe that you are telling the truth.
DeleteAynur- Well there's one situation, not to such an extent as the titanic, but where I was in what seemed a dangerous situation. It was at my uncles building, during the Christmas holidays. The fire alarm went off and the hall way was filled with the fire extinguisher smoke or whatever it was called. So we had to run outside through it. So that was really scary since I was like 10.
Deleteawh guess things could happen at any moment
DeleteCheney- Returning to bed was so vivid, especially in that situation because I just woke up, freezing and I was relieved to see I had a room. So I got warm and obviously I was tired. So it would be easy to fall asleep and forget my worries. The cliff hanger ending I got mainly from "We All Fall Down". Like you would stop reading at a crucial moment, like before a tower goes down
DeleteNavdeep- That's the point I'm trying so hard to try to get to the captain and try to tell him my story. They won't believe it until it was too late. Besides getting to the captain is the first challenge
DeleteI found my favourite part is where I wake up to find this creepy old dude watching me in my sleep.
ReplyDeleteAn idea I got from as Movie is when I jump into the lifeboat and find the other 3 people and we sailed off. I got that from the Life of Pi. That was an amazing movie.
Oh, also I made up the begining with the creepy old dude from my own imagination.
Deletedid you get everything from the movie or other things too?
DeleteNah, that was the only movie related idea. Everything else was mostly my imagination.
DeleteWhat influences your imagination? Shows, Comics, TV???
Deletehuge imagination so how do you feel about the movie the "the life of pi"
Deletecreepy old dude? well then was this movie about titanic?
DeleteUh, @Mr Cheney: Everything influences my imagination.
Delete@Derrick: The movie was amazing, I saw it in 2d but either way it was like watching it in 3d.
@Naowi: The creepy old guy was from my imagination based off of Herbert the Pervert from Family Guy.
Deletewhat is everything
Deletei know it's amazing but why do you feel this way?the message of the story,actor,story line??? what did you like about it?
Delete@Cheney: Everything is everything. To quote one of my favourite authors, Douglas Adams, Life, the Universe, and Everything.
Delete@Ortiz: I just like EVERYTHING about the movie! I can't narrow down on one point! Merp.
DeleteWhy did you decide to put a creepy dude watching you sleep in this story ??? O.o
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DeleteCUZ HE'S HERBERT THE PERVERT PABLO!!!!!!
DeleteEwwww lol
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ReplyDeletewell i wrote that in the boat there was a picture of a family 2 kids,one boy one girl,a father tall and strong with a beard,a mother with very long and nice hair then i realised that the family died in the boat-crash and that they had there whole lives to live.The character or me has a flash back of the incident with the family and learns that the mother and father gave up their lives for there kids.
ReplyDeleteI got this idea from the story i have heard about a boy how goes in the past to learn a lesson and shows the obstacles of the person.
That's pretty deep how you experienced the peoples' memory of the crash.
DeleteHow does the story finish?
it ended were there too many people in the small boat so it started to sink so the mother and father choose to give up there life for there kids
DeleteWhere is this story from? A movie? A book? The news?
Deleteno not really i based it from a story my grandmother told me.And she told me life has meaning everywhere you look.
DeleteHow did the kids guide them selves through this whole crash when their were no more?
Deletewell before they jumped of they told them what to do.sorry for not telling you but for me that was not important
DeleteBasically in my story I don't know how I ended up frosted in the middle of the ocean, but all that stood out to me was how cold my body felt, and how everything ached inside of me. I see a lifeboat but my throat was sore and was raspy every time I tried calling out. But the lifeboat just becomes more narrowed and slowly vanishes in sight. What happens next? I don't know. But there is no way I'll survive this.
ReplyDeleteI have many frustrations though as I try to survive using the little hope I have left, thinking another lifeboat will come in sight.
But it's just no use.
Eventually, I just have flashbacks and I think about what I've done in my life as I slowly start to wither away, then I die. THE END!
I got this all from my own imagination though I did have certain flashbacks of the movie Titanic like how Rose had frost all over her eyelashes, and how cold It seemed. That's basically all I used. I tried picturing myself in that situation and just explained what every moment of it must have felt like.
what kind of flashback?
DeleteIsn't it kind of masochistic to kill yourself off in a story? Also why did you imagine it that way?
DeleteDieing at the end can represent many things...including new life
Deletewhere did you get the ideas of flashbacks from? It is very difficult to write in flashback structure but very powerful.
so was this how you woke up gasing at the stare frozen?
DeleteWell flashbacks of certain memories I guess, thinking about how I no longer will get to experience any of that any more. Or maybe even how I made a mistake and there I am frozen and regretting it. Wishing how I could have done things differently, something like that I guess. Because that's how it is when a person knows they're about to die. I imagined it this way to get a better understanding of what it might have felt like when anything could happen at any moment and suddenly your life is being taken away from you. So I know how to cherish every breath I'm taking peacefully now. But honestly I really don't know why I chose to write my story that way.
Deletecould make sense.it all fits together.The end is the beginning
DeleteI also got the idea of having flashbacks from all those deep sad movies because every time a person is dying for some reason they have all these flashbacks, so I was like why not add that in my story, make it a little dramatic and what not. All I have to do is picture myself in that situation and think about what flashbacks I'd be having if I were to die.
DeleteSo you wrote about seeing your life flash through your eyes when you were about to die?
Deletethe best idea that i find in the story is. If there is any animal in the small boat i will try to save that animal and me. If the food run out so i could star fishing. If get home i tell my family what thinks happen to me in the boat.
ReplyDeleteI got this idea from the movie name life of pi and i watched i one show, so i got this all idea from movie and show.
But when they were getting in the life boats, the first people to enter were women and children. I believe that back then a 14 year old would not be qualified as a child but nor as a man. So more people would get in before you. If you did manage to get on a boat it would be full, no room for animals.
DeleteWhy would you want to take an animal? If any which one? Wouldnt you have to feed it? what if it didnt eat fish?
DeleteWhy save an animal before another human being? What motivates this choice?
Deletesumeet its good that you saved animals you could also save the kids whose parent are died.
Deletei was feel so bad for animal and i want to save that and if he does want eat fish so that animal has no choice.
DeleteWhere would you find an animal to accompany you on the boat, most animals on there would go with their owner. Besides other people wouldn't let you bring a "stupid animal" on the boat when peoples lives are at risk
Deletebut i got out from that boat and there was one life boat and in that boat everyone died only i got save out of that boat and animal so i could i save parent and kids they all died in the boat.
DeleteMy best idea was to go and horde all the food I can, im guessing their was a buffet in the ship so I got the food from their, I find 1 other person who was good with a compass and knows maps and as long as he game me directions, I would give him food.
ReplyDeleteI got this idea from my own imagination.
DeleteYou do realize there would be enough rations in a lifeboat for three people for a year? Also if you did happen to run out of food, you could just fish for fishies. That would be a great self-sustaining food source.
DeleteHow does your story end? Do you survive with this random dude you picked up?
would you save a family friend or a random person?
DeleteFood eh?! you sound like Eden. Did the food play a crucial role in your story after you got it? This is the idea of trading goods to get something better. Have you seen this before in a text or movie?
Deletehow could you choose this random person?
DeleteOh well more food for us. I dont know how my story would end I just came to school and made up a random part of the "story". Of course we would survive we have so much food and the guy knows directions, unless he tries to kill me in my sleep.
DeleteMy highlight of my story os when i went back in time to warn everyone that the boat sinks but nobody beleived me and at the ending it was all a dream to realize i was in another dream then i woke up to reality. I think the ending idea was from the movie inception were on is in many complex dreams to wake up to reality in the end.
DeleteI wouldnt know their was going to be my family on the boat... I choose the random guy because he knew maps and geography.
DeleteI have seen trading in a text when Europeans gave guns, knives, to the Aboriginals and they gave back furs, beaver pelts, etc.
thats smart you are going to bribe hime with food if he is hungry.
DeleteWhat if the guy refuses to go with you ? Also you would have to take twice as much food so you can share with him if you brought him along.
Delete@Abeeshan, How would you go back in time even if it was a dream? When you woke up in reality were you at home or on the ship? Confusing.
Delete@Pablo, John just told me their is already food for 3 people for a year on the boat itself so my food is just extra, and he obviously wants to go with me since i have lots of food and if i hel him he willl help me.
DeleteOkay
DeleteBut would you only take the 1 guy? There's going to be so many other people trying to get on a boat. So if you could get more people on the boat, what qualities would they need for you to want them to bring them along.
DeleteThe best idea that I got for my idea of narrative was, the part where my character is exhausted from walking up and down the stairs over and over again. This shows that even when you know what's going to happen you still tend to do the most stupendous things. There is a lot of things that I am still writing to enhance the experience that you might have reading this narrative writing.
ReplyDeleteOne thing that I added from the book Rebound was the lone survivor that is to be rescued. But, unlike the book, I changed perspectives to the narrative, the one making the decisions is the boy, and the one that is the lone survivor is the dad. This added a different perspective to the whole narrative.
does your character know that the boat is going to crash?
DeleteOne of the things that I felt really made my narrative vivid was the ticking of the water, a simple sound that he hears starts to cause him grief.The tick of water is a race against the time, it simply tells him that everything may be alright for a change. Many things are starting to tie in together for the end of the story.
DeleteOOPS, on the first post I added the idea of the lone survivor from "We All Fall Down", not rebound.
@navdeep Nope! This is at real time in the time period, in my story my character is surprised that he is actually on the HMS Titanic. Because back then, going on that luxurious ship is very hard to acheive because of the price range that the admission went to. Yet, he has woken up on it at a specific time of the Titanics sail.
DeleteThe highlight of my response is that i went back in time to change history. This is an highlight because the titanic was a huge cruise which hit an iceberg and it split apart. thousands of people lost their lives and what if someone knew it was going to happen thousands would have been living. You guys might be wondering how I got such a good idea, well I used to watch a show named zack and cody.I remember Zack fell a sleep and he went back in time and found out the tree the government were cutting was were the town got its first meeting. and i also fell asleep and went back in time. So in conclusion I got my idea for a T.V show called Zack and Cody.
ReplyDeleteYes, I had watched that episode! Great idea to relate and use it from this show. So Navdeep, how did you change the history? I mean the iceberg didn't vanish by itself, or how had you encouraged the captain to change his direction of route?
Deletewell the boat got a crack and the captain believed me but after everyone jumped i took a dive and hit my bedroom floor
DeleteMy best idea was when I had realized how I had gotten there. I was on a cruise with my family, and was tired so I fell asleep in a boat and it somehow got lowered and I was stranded there and then luckily somebody remembered me, and was looking for me like crazy and had the right mind to come out on to the ocean and look there. Then when I got back nobody knew what had happened to me, and then one of my cousins came up to me and said "had a good boat ride?" And then I realized it was a prank that only the cousins knew about no parents.
ReplyDeleteI got this idea partially from a movie but the whole prank thing came from my head because of my cousins, they're all unpredictable.
I hate when people trick or prank me! What would your reaction be after finding out? Would you be embarrassed, annoyed, angry , or just have nothing to say?
DeleteBut isn't that a too much of a harsh prank?
DeleteYes, how did they manage to pull of the prank?!
DeleteAniqer- For me I would hold a grudge until they apologized or I get revenge!!!! Obviously I would be angry and embarrassed, but just show my anger.
DeleteAniqer and Navdeep - First of all, it's just a story. Second, you would be surprised at how far my family's pranks go but they're not mean enough to leave me stranded in an ocean, but they probably would do it to someone older
Deletemy favourite part I wrote was when I met The Doctor. He's actually from the British TV series Doctor Who, the way I describe him tells the reader that he is very oddly dressed and smells of cinnamon and tea, and if you know the show you would know that its him. The story is about how he brought me to that certain time, at that certain place so I could help him get rid of a creature that lurked in the depths of the black ocean. I'm still writing, but you find out in the end why he chose me and what the creature was.
ReplyDeleteHow did you meet the doctor was he stranded along with you?? Or was he the reason you were stranded in the first place??
DeleteThat's an amazing choice! I also use to watch the show once. Let me ask you some questions ; What creature were you to help him defeat? Would you change the story to blame the creatures for the sinking of Titanic or the original ice berg?
DeleteHe was the reason I was stranded, he needed my help so he brought me along with him.
DeleteReally? The Doctor? ROTFLOL!!!! Anyway, why of all people did you choose the Doctor(NOT BECAUSE YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH HIM A DIFFERENT REASON)?
DeleteI don't know what the creature looks like yet, im still planning, but I know that he's going to be big. Like a whale almost. It would be the creatures fault and the iceburgs fault, I don't want to spoil it but, to avoid hitting the creature with the ship, I had to steer the ship. that didn't end well.
Deletethat is right, a doctor knows how to save someone even with household.
DeleteLOL JOHN HAHAAHA!! because he was the only explination I could think of. He has a tendency to travel through time and space, taking girls to help him with his missions. so I thought "DOCTORWHODOCTORWHODOCTORWHO".
DeleteYa, I know about his tardis, or his pota-poty time machine as Doc Brown calls it. And wow he is a playa.
DeleteSo you steered the ship to avoid the creature but, hit the iceberg?
DeleteWhat a turn of events. Never expected to have that happen. Is that what happened in reality? You went back in time with the Doctor, steered the ship into an ice floe instead of causing possible global panic by unearthing one of the craziest creatures unknown to man-kind?
DeleteWell, the main part of the story that I would like to highlight from my journal response is how, I had gotten to be in the past time of the Titanic event. The whole story was about toppling over from the boat out of fear and ending up in the last few lifeboat with four people. It was overcrowded and nobody knew each other! I had the fear of water so, that made it a difficult trip. I started liking it better in all this horrid rather than my NORMAL, CARELESS life. However, the people on the lifeboat had enlightened my soul by showing where I belong and that people ACTUALLY CARE. By then I plunged into the water as a SHARK were about to tear us apart and woke up in a hospital with an injection on my leg. I had later then found out that all his time I was in coma after an accident relatively due to water.
ReplyDeleteWhy would I ever choose COMA as the main idea in my story? Well, this year I had read many books and about 4 of them were to do with coma. It is a tremendous topic in which not much fact is stated. I began to wonder what happens to the person in coma when they are gone away. One book called " Blink Once" mentioned one soul in coma to meet another. The other book mentioned being able to look over everything at present day time. A few other books described going to another different world to spend time there, such as a break.
I also incorporated my true life minor fear of oceans and such. I'm not sure how to swim since, I had gone to swimming class in young age and maybe had forgotten.
oh so in your story you were completely confused on what was happening?
DeleteSo while stuck on a boat you met people who made you feel like you belonged to them like you were their child?
DeleteHow would you feel if one of your brother were with you do you think they would take the attention away?
Navdeep, yes I was totally confused until the end. I had just decided to go along with the event, since I had no other choice.
DeleteI think the best idea from my story is where I have my character, dreaming the whole thing. I also like the part where, the girl is taken into the water with Titanic and when she starts to get away, people start to push her down so that they can breath and stop themselves from sinking. In the end she dies and finds herself back in her bed, cold sweat on her face and breathing heavily.
ReplyDeleteI got this idea from all the stories I read about Titanic and all the images of people trying to save themselves and of course I watched the movie Titanic a few times.
Would the girl be having a surprisingly sudden dream or did she have some thoughts of Titanic in her mind to create the dream in her head?
DeleteSorry, I forgot to mention that she watched the movie. At the end of the story she curses herself for watching it with her friends. It was a dare chosen by her friends because she hates watching shows are reading stories that deal with unrequited love.
DeleteOh, I see! So since she hates to deal with unrequited love, in the journey did she think about some people she loved and how the situation she hated was to become a challenge to her?
DeleteI kind of did the same when i had no other choice then jump in the water i wake up on my bedroom floor.
DeleteWait Navdeep, so you suicide?!
Delete@Aniqa Yes you could say that. Her mother does come into this and she does lose her while trying to get out of the ship.
Delete@Navdeep Did you hit your head maybe while falling onto the floor. And did your parents come into see the racket?
My best idea was to go find a life jacket and and get a bag of food and supplies just in case I was not found for a long time also I would go find some guy with the same things so we can share our food so we can survive much more longer just in case we are not found in time I got this idea from my brain :)
ReplyDeleteWhat would happen if there was more than one person what if there was a whole family on the boat with you?
DeleteWhat do you mean by " guy with the same things"?
DeleteWhat if all the food was drenched with water? And what kind of supplies would you take? Don't you think taking things with you will slow you down especially if it's extra heavy?
DeleteUm I would give them some of my food but not all cause I need to survive to and I would make the other guy give them food to so they can survive
Deletethat is good because with out shelter or food it would be pretty hard.
DeleteHow does it end? Do you get rescued?
DeleteSo you would work together to survive? Although you told us that you made the idea up yourself, that partially reminds me of the movie " Alvin and the Chipmunks ( Chipwrecked)". The chipmunks had gone crazy and were fighting over each other. Do you think that would happen to you too?
DeleteYes we did end up getting saved at the end for your information Lauren
DeleteThe water would not be drenched because I packet it all up in a plastic bag I don't think it would slow me Down food is not that heavy
DeleteThey didn't have plastic bags back then.
DeleteThe situation isn't as easy as it seems. The ship is enormous. How in the world would you know where the food and kitchen is? I mean how would you even find a proper lifeboat to get on in all the rush when you're busy trying to find the kitchen?!
DeleteMy favourite part to me was the storyline. The story is about me being sent by the gods to fix the past by using the powers I posses but do not know. I am the son of a god but I have lost my memory but my father speaks to me in my head and guides me to complete my tasks.It all starts from the Titanic and after I complete each task, the next time I wake up, I find myself at the next tragedy the happens next. For example, if I save the Titanic from hitting the iceberg, I'll wake in the next tragedy. It all goes in order and while I'm completing my tasks, I start to find my powers and get my memory back until I reach present day. At that point I'll find out which God my fathers and everything will become clear to me. At the end I find out that this was all a test to see if I was really capable of going to the school of Demigods and learning how to fight and battle monsters.
ReplyDeleteEnd Of Book One
The part where I lost my memory, having powers and having a God as a father, I got from Percy Jackson books and the rest was from my own imagination.
DeleteAnd where did you get this idea from? I don't know why, but it reminds me of Percy Jackson.
Deletethat sounds interesting im looking forward to it
Delete@Geetangali: Part of it is.
DeleteWOWOOWOWOOWOW Percy jackson book 100%
Delete@Derrick: that is soooooo not true
DeleteWhy is there monsters in this ? Monsters in this story don't sound realistic
Delete@Pablo it is a story and we can think what we want. It's all about imagination, just like how you share food with people and carry heavy things to restrict yourself from going faster.
DeleteHarman what would be the best part of the story?
Delete@Aniqa: the best part would be when I find out that this was all a test in a virtual simulater.
DeleteMy best part was when someone showed me to my room and while I was walking to come out to ask one of the person that is there anyway I can go back home and not getting cold also wondering how I'm going to do things knowing that the ship is going to crash and also while I was wondering how I am going to get out the ship and get back home also I was being double minded by thinking if the ship is gonna crash
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DeleteWhat did you saw when you went into the room?
Delete@navdeep people will react to it by hectic and panicking and trying to get off the ship as well
Delete@sana well the room I was in was a storage room and basically all I saw was mops and buckets cleaning supply's And extra towels
DeleteSince you were double minded, in the end what had you decided to do as a solution?
DeleteMy best part is getting on the lifeboat knowing I'm safe then finding the place where they have all the food so the first place I would go is the buffet, after that I would look for people that know how to use certain things that can help us get off the boat to a safe place us knowing what is going to happen.
ReplyDeletebut in the movie they were not safe on the boat either
DeleteBut almost everyone is in a state of panic. Do you think they would be calm. From reading stories and watching movies you can tell no one was calm, everyone was scared. Like Navdeep said the lifeboats weren't safe at all. People fought to save their lives. Some lifeboats were tipped over and smashed. And also how would you find a lifeboat to stay safe in, again people crowded the lifeboats and fought for them. And what class were you in, First Class, Second class, or third Third class. First class people women and children were allowed to go on first, a lot of third class people were restricted to go onto lifeboats. Which class were you in?
DeleteExactly so I get what I need and who I need and get on the life boat and go.
DeleteI don't get where you're going. It'd be great if you explained a bit more. Sorry it's just that I don't understand where you're going.
DeleteWhat if there was no one on the boat and you're all alone how would you feel then?
Delete@Sana I'm pretty sure all the boats were filled up.
DeleteHow would you find everyone and everything you need? I mean you just woke up in the no where and half the time you might as well not know what you are doing. How would you know if the family is on the boat?
DeleteBooks are what influence our minds on the way we inscribe. That’s where we get our ideas and that’s how we tend to write usually depending on the genre of the books we like to read. My tastes in books are mostly different than others I don’t like to read fairy tales or animation lives I like to read the real deal, I like to read reality, what really happens , a story that may change one’s life. Something that’s eye opening and that's how my story is based and constructed, I didn't get a chance to finish but I am progressing.
ReplyDeleteThe favourite part in my story would definitely be when I started going crazy I began to scream for help but no one was their my heart began to pound hypersonically , it felt like I was in the zone to have a heart attack and almost about to fall off the boat. I went whack but inside I was depressed I sat in the corner and began to cry no one was there with me, thoughts came into my mind wonder if I did die who would take care of my family? Who wouldn’t be scared though? Not knowing what to do or where to go overall why you are even there, having that fear in you just makes you go all whack, this part of the story is a bit funny but if you think deeply about it what must I (the character) must be going through it isn’t as pleasant and sad. I want the readers to realize that I (characters) go through much more than what we just think; the character sets in depression because of being lost, in reality it’s a heart dropping moment. Remember when we were younger? When we went shopping with our parents to Vaughn mills or Yorkdale and then all of a sudden we got lost we couldn’t see them anywhere we went running around the store screaming “mommy , daddy” millions of people crowded all around you and not know anyone of them. You get tired so you just sit there in the corner hoping your mom or dad will find you. That heart dropping moment that you may not ever see them again. But after a few minutes a nice sweet lady or man comes up to you and helps you…remember those moments? Change that into a day where you randomly get lost you have no clue where you are , you can’t kind anyone around to help you , its just you in the middle of nowhere……(ill continue in the next post)
well I think almost all the kids felt this way, it was nicely explained.
DeleteEveryone did feel the same thing but it was different.... We all get those feelings on , "what about our family?" But some of us have more of an effect then others. As Mr.Cheney said before hand we think and view things from experience and so each of us may have that feeling but to each of us it stands different. An emotion can never be described but only felt and ones emotion can never be felt my anyone
DeleteThe best idea I think is that when everyone was walking around me and they weren't feeling cold and I was the only one in them who was freezing.. It felt so freaky to me that how they were freely walking and not getting frozen. As I was looking around I was wondering that how am I the only one feeling cold. While I was thinking that I was barely walking because of how much I was feeling cold. I saw different kind of stuff and the boat was looking so great because it was in the night and it looks like a glowing piece of diamond on the water. As i was looking and other stuff I stop feeling cold the way I was before.
ReplyDeleteThe idea that I wrote I got it from my own imagination as I was keep on thinking on what should I do write next then suddenly I think of this idea and I like it as so that's I wrote it but I was not sure if it would even make sense
What was running though your mind when all this was happening
Deleteisnt that weird you were the only one frozen?
Delete@Ashley the only thing that was running through my mind on that time was how I got there are how I am the only one getting frozen and not everyone else on the ship
DeleteIf you might have been freezing how was it that you were able to make around.If a person was freeinz,and everyone else wasn't how was it that you felt pleased about what you've seen or make of,i find that odd?but if you were to continue onwards with your story what would happen?
Delete
DeleteMost people in their post stated they felt petrified being on the ocean liner and so did I but instead of having that sentiment of being worried or frightened you were questioning why it was so cold? That's not anything wrong but did come across your mind why you were on the ocean liner? Did the questions ever come across your mind about your family or were you just so scared your mind got distracted over the smallest things?
I love the way you described "the boat was looking so great because it was in the night and it looks like a glowing piece of diamond on the water." It sounds great!
DeleteIt's interesting and mysterious of how only you alone were feeling cold. Why was that? Were you also invisible or some how only a soul at that moment?!
Well the first thing I would do is look for my family beacuse what if there in trouble too but if I can't find them then obviously I would try to remember what happened and possibly cry because I do that a lot, but the best part in my story would be when I find my dad he takes me home where the rest of the family is and finally eat
ReplyDeletehow would you be able to go home when the titanic sets sail for many days? what happens afterwards.So yuo concluded that the best part of the story would be with your family etcc.. perhaps in your story you dont find your family what then?
DeleteSo as you stated, you are to be with your family on the Titanic. How did you get there?
DeleteYes your with your family but what would be the conclusions as @max said ? how are you and you family going to get home are they going to be rescued or are they going to escape them selves?
DeleteThe idea I preferred in my story was having myself portray as a keen girl who woke up struggling in desperation to have been lost, how it was she ended up in the titanic time frame. She wakes up cold, and trembling to the gaze of many strangers, who she is literally unknown to. She was lying there helplessly until a woman observed in what state she was. An totally unknown stranger opened up to her and draped her with a blanket to warmth and care from the eyes of the horrid gazes. She soothed her with no words, but just by embracing her into a hug, removing the freight and fear of her face until suddenly someone calls security to assume the girl is a tress passer. She was rescued by the same lady known as (Mrs.Henry) who lied about the girl being her young niece, providing her with food and shelter. From there they develop a friendship and bond," strong as a mother and daughter from birth". She starts working shifts as a waitress to payoff mrs.henry. Till on night she hears a horrifying screech echoeing across the ship She runs outside spotting mrs.henry bleeding, lying helplessly as a dead soul. She was trampled. Everyone was running, and hoping into lifeboats. Children were crying, there were people running everywhere. Suddenly as the girl try’s helping her up. Someone nudges her to the railing, the next thing you know you hear water splurging, and splatters of water bursting out on to the deck. Mrs.Henry’ body is deep into the crashing waves. The girl plunges after her ,they both hang on for a dear life. She recalls her most precious moments of her life.Mrs.Henrys eyes shut.The girl cups her face murmers a prayer and suddenly lets both of them sink to their death…
ReplyDeleteThat's a really good story line! The ending is quite sad however since it was unexpected ;I was thinking more of 'happy endings'.
DeleteMital out of the story you created what was your favorite or best idea? Also, did you in-cooperate any ideas from books or movies or such? Maybe it was an original idea created by you?
If the journal response changes and instead of writing a story on yourself but another person in our class boy or girl would it change your story? Most ideas come from books you read movies you watch and sometimes your imagination but the question is based on you, every character in the stories we write have a different name but would do exactly what we would do, if we were to forget about yourself and put someone else in the story would it change would it change all the views?
DeleteThe main event of the story would be the adventures the characters go on and the people she meets. I think that the idea of her her being rescued should not be so obvious,like it shouldn't be obvious that shes gonna die or not.I want a little flip flop in the story so the reader or viewer doesn't know what gonna happen to the girl next and all of the scenes seem unexpected.
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