Hey Team we will be having our regular annual BHJMS speech competition this year. We must have 2 class winners by April 17 in order to compete in the school wide event. Students MUST present a speech but do not have to compete at the school level.
Choosing a Topic: No repeating previous topics come up with something fresh and exiting for you. It does not need to be based on cliche talking points. Talk about something you like and are interested in. The key component is that you will be informing the audience and trying to convince them that they need to change or consider what you are offering.
Making an Intro:
Let's start getting ready for our speech competition. We will begin with practicing and constructing an opening sequence.
An opening should; clearly establish your position on a topic, grab the readers attention with a quote, poem, anecdotal story, and finally set up the audience with a brief highlight of evidence you will use.
If you are really stuck:
Let's use this picture as our starting point "Your topic is wildlife endangerment and the wilful destruction of our forested areas...right your opening "
Use this space to write and post your opening paragraph for your speech:
Smalltimeisking.blogspot.com
ReplyDeleteYour opening is good, you just need some facts
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ReplyDeleteI don't think you should have so many facts in your opening. That should go in your body paragraphs.
DeleteMr. Cheney, are we supposed to post it here, or on our blogs.
ReplyDeleteYes we have to put it on our own blog.
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ReplyDeletehttp://squarepyramidnet.blogspot.ca
ReplyDeleteWhat colour is your skin? What colour are your eyes? What colour is your hair? What size shoe do you wear? what country are you from? How much money do you have?
ReplyDeleteCan all of us say we have white skin, green eyes,brown hair,weigh 100 pounds,wear size 8 in shoe?
can all of us say we were born in America and we all are millionaires?
can we really say we are perfect or never failed a test?that we never criticized someone because of the way they looked or what they wore to school that day? Can we?
Inhuman Crimes
ReplyDeleteYou sit there listening to my speech thinking that everyone loves you and no one wants to hurt you, until they actually try to. The world is a barbaric place to live in because of three main reasons grudge, thief, slaughter. These are the main reasons of most family's deaths. The cries of kids all over the world, the words I despise "don't be afraid, I won't hurt you, I just want to talk""make no mistake I will see you before daybreak""he is chasing me mom dad help me, please!"The fear that this causes is beyond what words can describe. paralyzed with fear as a beast with a lust for blood approaches. Each step it takes is like a shock to the heart. Eventually it is in front of you laughing with his demonic face. It almost seems as if death was a blessing. Anyone anyone that has a thirst for blood does not deserve to be called human. The roots for all of this is grudge.
I really don't understand your thesis for your speech here. I'm not really sure what you're trying to say your points in your main paragraph about. Perhaps you can explain what your speech is about in the opening paragraph so the audience is more informed about the topic of your speech. Also, why is the world such a barbaric place to live- you said "grudge, thief, and slaughter" I don't get the idea of what you're trying to say about the world by those 3 words. I think you have to provide more concrete examples, such as world poverty or hunger, or wars, etc. Instead of just providing three words with no examples attached to them. Also, providing your opening is quite infused with violence and gore- words such as "lust for blood" or "demonic face" or "death was a blessing"- you have very descriptive words, but I still can't grasp the idea of what your speech is about. You need to make a connection with the audience so that they can understand what you're trying to persuade them about. Also, at the end, where you say "the roots for all of this is a grudge" you could elaborate on that point as the audience is still uninformed about the reason for all you described above.
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ReplyDeleteYou should state your thesis in your opening paragraph.
DeleteWhat colour is your skin? What colour are your eyes? What colour is your hair? What size shoe do you wear? what country are you from? How much money do you have?
ReplyDeleteCan all of us say we have white skin, green eyes,brown hair,weigh 100 pounds,wear size 8 in shoe?
can all of us say we were born in America and we all are millionaires?
can we really say we are perfect or never failed a test?that we never criticized someone because of the way they looked or what they wore to school that day? Can we?
who ever edits my opening paragraph it is blue eyes,blonde hair not green eyes, brown hair
DeleteI like how your opening gives examples of people, and questions to ask themselves as the ideal part of your opening, which gives the audience something to relate to, but, I'm not sure if this is part of your speech, but the part where you said "We were born in America and we all are millionaires" kind of makes it sound like all people living in America are millionaires, which isn't necessarily true. Unless you are trying to imply that all people from America are millionaires. Maybe you could explain that part a little more to not make it sound confusing to the audience- you could write-
Delete"Can all of us say we were born in America? Can all of us say that we're millionaires?
Also, in the part "That we never criticized someone because of the way they looked..." It should "That we've never criticized someone..." Instead of we :)
Reply to Ashantae:
Delete{Here is some stuff you can add into your opening}
What color is your skin? What color are your eyes? What color is your hair? What shoe size do
you wear? What country are you from? How much money do you make.. Or even have?
Can all of us say we have white skin, blue eyes, with brown hair? Do we all weigh 100 pounds or even wear a size 8 in shoes? Even better.. Can we all say that we live in America and we are all millionaires living the sweet life?
{My Feedback on your opening}
Your opening is very intriguing, the way you started off with some little reality questions representing that were not all equal and I get the message right when you started with your opening paragraph. But don't keep asking like questions over and over again only for the first paragraph, maybe you can add a little fact for your topic in the opening as well. But it´s a great opening and Iḿ looking forward to hearing your full speech soon!
Dont keep asking the questions. you need to add some facts and write why you think being different is important
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ReplyDeleteYou opening isn´t that clear in the picture.
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ReplyDeleteI think you need to state your thesis about how people with an income lover than $50000 are going to get free tuition but we have to pay for ourselves and so you think that we shouldn't have to pay for university.
Deleteyeah thanks for reminding me but I'm going to include that in my next paragraph.
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ReplyDeleteYour opening is ok but I think you should have stopped at the part where you said Hi my name is Kainaat Nisar and today I am going to be talking about Android and ios also I will be comparing the two to see which one is better. Instead of adding the last part which says What we know so far is that ios has a bit more popularity to android. The last sentence would have been a great starting for your second paragraph.
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ReplyDeleteSpeech opening
ReplyDeleteCompelled and pressured
Intimidated and compared
They don't think I'm capable
The thought is just inescapable
Call my brain unstable
So many names that I am labelled
They think that I'm stupid
That I'm nothing but clueless
They say I'm not intelligent
That I think that I am arrogant
I am a fool with an empty brain
My life has just gone down the drain
They say I'm not going to get anywhere in life
And it's never going to be more simplified
I will remain as nothing
Because I don't have what it takes to be something
Intelligence
We've been told to go to school, get good grades, go to high school, get even better grades, get accepted to a good university, get a degree, get a high paying job, have a family, work until you retire, get older and then wait for ourselves to die. Yeah... and I've also been told that you won't have an amazing job with a fabulous pay unless you get good grades, and in order to get good grades... You will be judged based on your intelligence. Except we all forget that not all of us were born to be doctors, accountants and lawyers, which means that not all of us are as intelligent as each other. So then why do we do it?? Why do we take tests to see if we are smart enough to do something?? Aren't there things that I can do that you can't and you can do that I can't?? How is showing us that we aren't capable of doing certain things supposed to help us? So overall, should we actually be judging people based on intelligence?
What do you mean by intelligence, and how will it be measured in students.
DeleteI mean like do we really need to discriminate people by their intelligence.
DeleteWhen you are asking your question about why we question peoples intelligence, i think you should answer those questions in your opening or in the body. Your poem is really great, you did a good job including what people actually think about other when it comes down to intelligence.
DeleteOkay
DeleteThanks for the feedback
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ReplyDeleteSpeech competition - opening
ReplyDelete{A victim of depressions view}
I don't enjoy spending time with my family and friends anymore. I'm always sad, I don't feel like feel like myself I look into the mirror and all I see is a soulless freak. I-I can't stop thinking, there's voices in my head... GET IT OUT!
{Where I start to talk and introduce myself}
Here is the tragedy, you have downswings, people who are victims of depression do not only feel sad they feel emptiness, aggressive, restless and unfaithful. I'm Mariam Hamid and today I'll be talking to you about depression. This is a major problem for teens, many people go thru stages where they feel useless. They can put on smile, they can laugh and they can hide how they really feel. Teenagers suffer many outcomes of depression such as Postpartum, emotional symptoms and behavioural. Many suffer from a bipolar disorder which is also known as "Major Depression" is a cycle of mood changes. It is described as a mental health disorder marked by alternating periods of elation and depression.
I really like your opening and they way you started off with victim of depression.
DeleteMaybe you could add the definition of postpartum by saying something like.... "Teenagers suffer many outcomes of depression such as postpartum which is...., emotional symptoms and behavioural
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Deletereally strong opening maybe you could add what some of those words mean
Deletei don't think you should say"Mariam Hamid and today I'll be talking to you about depression" it seems like something a grade 3 would do.Otherwise the speech is great!
DeleteYour opening was good, add a few facts and it's go *through*. Also talk about social anxiety disorders and how that can lead to bipolar issues.
DeleteOk thanks for your opinion guys, it´s very helpful too
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ReplyDelete"I love video games and so do many other people, and I think we should be able to keep playing them because Video games can actually benefit you in many ways, such as improving reaction time, making you smarter, and strengthen some of your muscles" Which muscles do video games strengthen? The opening is good and your topic is very clear. For your opening talk about your favourite video games and why they are beneficial.
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ReplyDeleteMr Cheney I deleted my last comment post because I made a new opening-
ReplyDeleteURL-
Itsreesaa.blogspot.ca
What do you think is the cost of the average can of soda? If you said $1.50 you only partly right, because to cost to your physical and mental health is much higher than the dollar fifty you had to pay. While adding some specified tax will make your pockets a bit lighter, it will also discourage people to buy a soda when they have to pay the extra 10-50 cent's every day. We live in a world where being obese doesn't even turn heads anymore. Being diagnosed with cancer is almost inevitable and healthy eating is a way of the past. When you cut junk food out of your diet, you begin to feel better on mentally and physically. Putting tax on unnecessary sugar filled garbage will encourage people to do something, they've meant to do their entire lives.
ReplyDeleteI don't understand your topic. The thesis is not clear. I got confused at when you said put taxes in junk food. And you are relating your topic to obesity. Make the connection more understandable. Furthermore you should somehow include a general idea for the three next points for your paragraph.
DeleteThank you for your opinion
DeleteWhat do you think is the cost of the average can of soda? If you said $1.50 you are only partly right, because to cost to your physical and mental health is much higher than the dollar fifty you had to pay. In my opinion, a valid solution would be to introduce a sugar tax, that would apply to all junk food. I think it will discourage people to buy a soda when they have to pay the extra 10-50 cent's every day. We live in a world where being obese doesn't even turn heads anymore, being diagnosed with cancer is almost inevitable and healthy eating is a way of the past. When you cut junk food out of your diet, you begin to feel better mentally and physically. Putting a tax on unnecessary sugar filled garbage will encourage people to do something, they've meant to do their entire lives.
DeleteYou should really make your topic obvious, are you talking about obesity, cancer or taxes? What are your three points in the next few paragraphs?
Deletethe obesity and cancer are representative of next 3 topics, obesity being a worldwide epidemic and cancer being representative of the various diseases sugar and fatty foods can cause, when overdosed. Taxes are presented as the solution to the problems
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ReplyDeleteupdated
Edited in notebook
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ReplyDeleteYou should add what Justin Trudeau said. The thing that you showed me because that helps you prove the government wrong and it will make your point stronger.
DeleteReply to Connie:
DeleteI find your speech very interesting because I haven't met anyone who picked this as a speech topic or talk about it much. The part where you started talking about your parents and your 2 brothers including your grandparents was intriguing to read relating your speech to your own life, facing reality and the expectation. You seem really hyped and motivated to write about this topic and I know you´ll do great when you present which I can wait to hear because this topic seems very interesting and fun to know about.
Topic- Drake vs the Weeknd,
ReplyDeletejonathon
in my dark time and in the moments where it not possible to move.moments where life doesn't give you a path that you can escape from.Hello,my name is jonathan figueroa and this is my speech.motivation to me has been like a super power because im put the idea in my mind that we can do what we want when we want because we put hard work and motivation for our current and future.the time and the money is what we look for but is that all that matter.threw poverty and memory that you wish you never had still come to haunt and tell you your worthless. in this generation money is the motive and at this point it matter if you wear brands.money is important but most people dont relize that you dont need a $250 shirt to show that you have money.working hard and building your future is better because....to be continued
ReplyDeleteIM JONATHAN I HAD TO POST ON HASSANS ACCOUNT>
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